Life after Exile
by Final Authority
Summary: When Marth is exiled from Altea he finds himself at the SSB Mansion and becomes a Smasher. All he wants to do is lay low and return to normal life, but with such eccentric people around just mantaining his sanity is a chore!
1. Of Exile and SSBM

**IMPORTANT NOTE FOR NEW (IF ANY) READERS**

**Greetings from the future. For anyone who hasn't read this story the first time around and wants to review it now, please listen.**

**I have decided to make this story my progression piece for my writing portfolio, since Chapters 1-6 were written in 2005, and the newer chapters will be 2007+. So, all criticisms for 1-6 will be appreciated, but won't be applied because I'm leaving it alone for my portfolio. (Trust me, it's taking every ounce of self-restraint I have to not go back and edit them). However, criticisms for 7+ will definitely be taken to heart, so please **_**please **__**please**_** criticize! Please! Don't be afraid of hurting my feelings or anything, criticisms are extremely appreciated. I could really use them. **

**Thank you. I'll let you leave now. :)**

A/N Double update! XD With the last chapter of the Twilight Zone up I decided to post this as well. This story was more based on a vague concept of someone trying to fit into daily life that's absolutely insane. I can't truly call this a swordsmen fiction, for a lot of characters are in it though Marth is the main focus as it's his point of view. Now don't get mad but I'm doing guesswork on his exile, though it will be scarcely mentioned after it happens. I guess… and this chapter I tried to make as funny as I could without going over the top, but when Roy arrives in the next chapter then things will kick off. Anyway criticism is most appreciated, as is non critical reviews, however I would prefer not to be flamed (who would?). So with that in mind I continue the chapter.

**Note: For those to lazy to read my authors' note this is Marths' POV … err… yay! **

Other Notes:

_I_ – Thoughts

**I **– Sound

"I" – Speaking

'I' – Other

…- Scene Change

Disclaimer- I don't own SSBM or Fire Emblem (sniff)

Life after Exile

Chapter One – Of Exile and SSBM

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and in truth it was a truly beautiful day outside. However the shining sun only warmed up the courtroom making it extremely stifling and continuously beat down on the chair I was bound to. As for the birds they were an annoyance, I wished to throw a large rock at them, for it seemed they were mocking me. Perhaps I was paranoid, or maybe just anxious about my hearing, despite the peaceful scene outdoors, it was the exact opposite in here. The council argued of my fate, while the presenter fanned himself with my background papers and the executioner began to sharpen his axe while giving me excited glances as if nothing would please him more then to chop off my head. I'm sure it would, I had given him a pay cut while on the throne. The rich who had seated themselves in every chair in the room were constantly glaring and snapping at the poor who were trying to get into the courtroom to see the outcome of the trial. I let out a slight sigh as one of the wealthy men said,

"Don't worry Prince Marth, I'm sure they will not kill you." I sat up a bit more and gave a little tug at the ropes which bounded me to the chair.

"Then why did they bring the executioner?" I inquired raising an eyebrow at the burly man with the axe who was still grinning at me as I turned to the well-to-do speaker.

"Good measure my lord! These men like to think ahead! What if you tried to escape? They would have the man with an axe to take you down and return you." I doubted this theory; it seemed the man was comforting me just in case I did get restored to royalty that I might pay him money or bring up his social status.

"I'm sure." I muttered softly as the bang of the gamble silenced all. The presenter (who seemed half asleep) jumped with the noise and almost dropped the papers. He embarrassedly cleared his throat and gave the papers a quick tap on the desktop bring them back into order.

"Marth of Altea."

"Yes?' I asked as calm as I could at the mention of my name.

"Since Dolua has taken over Altea and will turn it into a dictatorship we have decided to force you into exile." There were some murmurs amongst the crowd. Some were elated, others were disappointed they did not get to see a killing. However I was ecstatic, after all exile was not really permanent, I could always return in disguise. Before I had any time to celebrate a clear voice rang out,

"Wait a minute!" The entire courtroom turned to the sound of the voice, there standing up with a defiant look was one of the peasants. "This concept just completely _eludes_ me. You have forced him into exile, well done, very nice. Though I think you all are bubbling morons. Why exile him? You know that he'll live in a peaceful village until one day he is motivated to come back, and then he'll gain allies, destroy you, and is returned to power with overwhelming popularity. Just kill him and get him out of your way!" There was silence for several moments. The presenter coughed and shuffled his papers once more with a certain air of dignity.

"Guards, bring the peasant to the dungeons for speaking out of line." Promptly following orders the two guards seized the man and began to drag him, kicking and screaming, out of the room. Finally the shouts died down and there was silence once more.

"Sir?" asked one of the rich men to the council.

"Yes?" replied the leading councilman as he folded his hands on the table.

"I just had a strange and an obviously original idea… why not kill Prince Marth? So then he can't come back and free Altea."

"What a brilliant idea, you are a smart man. Executioner!" The executioner eagerly looked at him. "You fired; we've decided to use our guards instead. Guards!" The two guards returned to the room. "Bring the ex-prince as far as you can from Altea, and kill him to your choosing and untie him from that chair while you're at it, I like the chair." My stomach felt like I had dropped a rock in it, I wanted to throw up for I was going to die! However that would mess up my outfit, if I was going to die might as well do it with dignity… as I debated with my self on whether to throw up or not the guards untied me from the chair and guided me out by the shoulders.

…

"So…" began one of the guards. We were trudging through a forest which was only in god knows where. "What do we do with im'?"

"I dunno." replied the other gruffly, "We ave' so many options…" I was slung over the shoulder one the current speaker, my hands tied together and my legs were bound mutually as well. He gave me a little jump and asked, "How do ya want us to go about it Prince?"

"I would rather you let me go." I replied hopefully. The guard snorted in laughter.

"Not happenin'. Hows about a sword in the gut?"

"No… that's not very appealing."

"Then what'd you want?" I thought a moment.

"A stoning."

"Ay, that's a way to go. Big er small stones?"

"Big if you please." We stopped as we reached the bank of a river.

"Hoy Jim! Help me find a big stone for Princey here." Jim (which I could only guess was the name of the other guard) nodded. The one who was holding me placed me gently onto the ground as if not to hurt me until it was time to brutally kill me. "Don't ya go anywhere now." he warned. "Or we'll go with the sword through yer gut idea." I nodded as the two began to look around.

"Heh, how'll long ya think he'll last after we stone im'?"

"I dunno, maybe a couple-a seconds."

"Ay give im' more credit then that. I guess a minute and two seconds."

"No one can live with a stone on their head for a minute Jim…"

"Why? Ave' you done it?"

"Well no, I'll make ya a bet… two shiny things if he lasts more than thirty seconds."

"Deal, ah 'ere is a stone…. get ready Prince I, ah where'd he go?!"

"There he is, in dat conveniently placed river!" It was true; as they spoke I had quietly slipped into the river and was now floating downstream.

"Ay! No! Well, how long ya think he'll last without bein' able to swim?"

"Thirty seconds…" the other replied as he shielded his eyes to watch me against the blaring sun. Well, no one said my plan was perfect. The river was at first calm as I was gently carried away to a new destination. I could keep my head above water despite the bonds and rather enjoyed watching the guards continue their bets until they were out of sight. Then, fate turned on me once more I hit rapids which tossed me back and forth and once more brought up the subject of whether I should throw up or not. _No _I decided in thought. _I won't._ So I was carried further downstream until finally I was able to grasp the edge of a rock on the shore with my tied hands. However since the waters current was so strong I found I couldn't get myself up onto land so I pathetically hung there for a few moments.

"Help!" I called out in vain though I knew perfectly well there was no one around to help. I sighed and tried to get comfortable on the rock, if I was lucky, maybe the bonds would break under pressure. After several moment of pain-staking silence there was finally the sound of someone coming through the brush which surrounded the river. I watched in shock as an elf came bounding through the trees wearing a tunic (skirt), white leggings, and a long green hat. His blond bangs peaked out from under it the fell onto his face showing off his bright azure eyes (my eyes were _bluer_ than his.) and his long pointed ears were visibly noticeable. He looked around for a moment in passing and continued to walk. "Hey!" I called out desperately. He stopped and one of his ears twitched with the noise, and suddenly turned and started to approach the rock and soon he silently peeped over it at me. "I just escaped a death sentence." I quickly explained at the look the elf gave me which might as well said 'Why the hell are you hanging on a rock?' Accepting my answer with a slight nod of the head he untied my hands and before the current could sweep me off he pulled me onto the shore. "Thank you!" I cried out blissfully, not only to the elf but to whatever force had caused him to come bounding through the woods into the place I had happened to be. Regaining my composure I began to untie my legs and said,

"I truly am eternally grateful to you, what's your name?" I finally freed my legs and looked up expectantly at my savior for an answer of which I got none. The elf only made a pointing gesture at his throat. "Oh, you can't speak?" He nodded sorrowfully. "I'm sorry, if I had known I wouldn't have asked." Shakily I got to my feet holding onto a nearby tree and asked,

"Are there any nearby towns?" The elf shook his head. "Houses perhaps? I have to find somewhere…" Again he took a moment to think and soon an expression dawned on his face which clearly said, 'I have an idea!'

…

"Where are we going?" I asked as the silent elf pulled me through the forest. I knew perfectly well he couldn't answer but I was impatient. When younger I would always annoy my father with questions like this, for example: "Father, where are we going to get a giant mace this time of night?" This was a different situation of course so I decided not to persist further and allowed myself to be pulled along. Finally the elf stopped and I could vaguely see the outline of a mansion in the distance.

"Is that where we're headed?" I asked pointing at the outline. He softly nodded and got ready to start again when a voice called out,

"Link! There you are!" I turned just in time to see a younger elf, which looked exactly like the one who had saved me step out from behind the trees. This one seemed younger though, about ten or perhaps eleven. The elf I was traveling with turned at the sound of his voice. "Zelda was looking for you; she said something about you running off to- hey! Who're you?" he asked cutting off his own sentence and pointing at me.

"My name's Marth." Hastily trying to change the subject I asked, "Are you his brother?" while pointing to the older elf beside me. The child shook his head.

"Nope! I'm him from seven years ago! He's Link and I'm Young Link. Though I suppose I could be Link and he could just be Big Link… or maybe-"

"I understand." I interrupted quickly. "If you're his younger self then how can you talk and he can't?"

"Well you see he lost his ability to talk recently in traumatic accident involving a snail and a pizza… it was very sad really. Since I'm his younger self I still have the ability to talk until I turn his age and suffer the same effects of the same accident so I'm talking as much as I can now! Hee hee hee, do you like puppies? I like puppies…" I blinked at the abrupt subject change.

"Err yeah. I like puppies."

"Yay! Anyways, my older self was showing you to the Smashers' mansion right?" I nodded slowly, almost afraid of another sudden outburst. "So you're going to come live there too?"

"I don't know what you mean…"

"Well, Peach will explain it before you're interviewed. We haven't filled all the positions yet… we need more Smashers, but we have hardly had anyone offering to take the job, and we can't start the fighting until they do. There are two more positions to be filled, if you take it there's only one!"

"Fighting? I'm afraid my sword was taken away…"

"It's no problem! You can use the Biggorons' Sword!" The child suddenly pulled out a giant sword from no where almost scaring the heck out of me. Seeing my lack of enthusiasm and utter fear about using it he said, "No? Ah well, you'll figure out something." Sadly he threw the sword over his shoulder into the woods. Several frightened screeches could be heard and the sharpened sword impaled a nearby tree. I glanced quickly at the sword and back at the child.

…

"Welcome Marth! This-" Young Link made a grand gesture at the huge mansion which stood before me "Is the Smasher Mansion! You know… you've been standing a good deal away from me since we began to walk here…"

"No! Of course not!" I cried with my hands out before me in defense. "Why would I do that?" However the child was right, I stood a considerable distance away from Young Link ever since he pulled out that giant sword. The last thing I needed to pile on my troubles was my eye being poked out with his sword. Young Link grinned as he accepted my answer.

"Okay!" he replied as he pulled open the door. "Come on in." So I walked with his older self into the mansion.

The mansion was pretty, not as fancy as the castle I used to live at, but it was nice. There were plenty of rooms, and so many doors I would be completely lost if Link and Young Link weren't showing me the way around. Suddenly we stopped in a large living area, where a Princess was sitting on the couch. She was wearing a long puffy pink dress with blond hair flowing out behind her. When she looked up her bright blue eyes shined happily (does everyone here have blue eyes?!).

"Hello!" she greeted gleefully "Are you here to try out for the job?"

"I suppose." I muttered softly.

"Alright, Master Hand should be back soon. I'm Peach, the official greeter guide person!"

"Yay!" I said with the slightest tone of sarcasm in my voice which she missed.

"Yes! So, who are you anyway?"

"I'm-" I paused, for I could not say 'Marth the Prince of Altea' anymore. So I simply finished with "Marth."

"Ah interesting name, I've heard it somewhere before…" I gave a nervous cough and let out a meek little,

"Yeah…"

"I wish you luck with Master Hand, he can be tough sometimes, why not go up to his office?" I could tell she was getting bored with the conversation. "Link you can take him can't you?" Before Link could even nod or shake his head Peach said. "Oh I'm sure you will!" Link gave her a defeated look and motioned for me to follow him up to the Hands office. As we began to ascend the stairs Peach called up, "Oh Marth!"

"Yes?"

"Sorry to hear about your exile." I blinked. _Word travels fast… _

"Thank you." I mumbled. Peach said nothing more so I took this as an opportunity to continue to follow Link up the stairs.

…

As I sat down on the chair in Master Hand's office I began to vaguely wonder what someone named 'Master Hand' would look like. A nobleman? A businessman? Master was obviously a term of power… but what could 'Hand' stand for? As I contemplated this, the door to the office opened with a smash and to my utter shock, an actual hand floated in.

"Damned children throwing sticks at me, doesn't being a giant floating hand mean anything in society anymore?!" At this point he seemed to notice I was here. "You must be here for the position of Smasher… have a seat. Oh you're sitting, well then we'll just skip that part." The hand floated behind the desk and I felt this was a good opportunity to ask,

"Are you _really_ a giant hand?!" In response the hand twitched its fingers and thought about this.

"Yes." he said finally. "Yes I am…"

"But… how?!"

"Well… when a mother hand and a father hand-"

"That's enough." I interrupted. "Let's just proceed with the meeting." The hand placed it fingers on the desk and tapped one (almost breaking down the desk).

"Alright then, so what's your name?"

"Marth."

"What Nintendo world are you from?"

"Nintendo world? What's that?"

"Ah, you don't know yet? Fresh bait… I'll run a computer check on you…. hometown?"

"Altea." The hand turned beside him to a flat screen and began to pound buttons with letters on them.

"Ah, you're from Fire Emblem!" He announced impressively turning back to me.

"That's impossible; the Fire Emblem is a jewel. I can't come from a jewel."

"Well according to your computer, you can!"

"But how can you even see the screen?! You have no eyes!"

"I can see with my mind-" Before I could even argue the point further by saying he had no brain he quickly said, "You seem like you could be a good contender, but you have no clone…" Forgetting what I was about to say I asked,

"A clone?"

"A clone is someone who has the same powers as you, but uses them differently and they are sometimes your partner in battles. Each character has a clone, except Mr. Game and Watch that is. The little 2D man was very unique. We'll have to see if I could find someone with the same fighting style as you to be your clone, maybe even from the same world." He began to tap the buttons even more. "There are several people here… Lord Eliwood seems like a good match… but he's much too old… hold on, he has a son, let's check him out…" The name Eliwood wasn't at all familiar to me but I found myself curious to see who would be my counterpart so I walked around the desk to take a look at the screen. "Here he is!" Master Hand announced. A picture of a red-haired boy popped up onto the screen, perhaps he was a couple years younger than me, but before I could get a chance to see anymore red letters saying 'WARNING!!!' began to flash on the screen, which Master Hand seemed to ignore. "He seems to be good, we'll send for him tomorrow." Finally he took notice of the letters and said,

"Hmm… well he can't be that dangerous… but I'd rather not lose any of my men, we'll send Fed-Ex to get him tomorrow. That's what they deserve for mixing up my packages last time… anyway Marth, you're hired! This is the first time someone willingly came here! I'm very pleased, your clone will arrive tomorrow, whether he wants to or not! Now, I'll set up a room for you…" Again he tapped the letter buttons and handed me a room key. "Here, it's 29B. Ask one of the Smashers to show it to you and I'll see you tomorrow!" Before I could say anymore more I found myself being pushed out of the office with the room keys jingling excitedly.

A/N How was it? I'm sorry it wasn't that funny this chapter, just wait until Roy gets here. I hope this didn't just seem stupid, but I wanted a story to improve my writing style before I go back to school and well… this is it! Now I have to go read that book for my summer assignment… T-T R&R!!!


	2. The FedEx Crate

A/N Hey all, welcome to chapter two! Yay! I'm so sad the Twilight Zone is over, but after doing a horror story like that it's kind of fun to do a comedy. I'm not sure how many chapters there will be, I'm hoping I can have enough of an attention span for twenty, but I'll try for over ten first. Wish me luck! I mean, unless you don't want to… heh heh. I doubt there will be any Yaoi (a million reviewer just left the story right there XD), for most of the characters are too insane for any kind of serious relationship thing though I have nothing against it.

Review Responses:

Chapter One:

The Silver Kitty: My first reviewer! (huggles and gives a cookie) Heh, heh never did find out who won.

Wanchoo: Nah, in the game Roy is sixteen and Marth is eighteen, so he's literally is a couple years younger XD Marth calls him a boy in this chapter because, well I guess he's a little conceited.

Mr. Lefty: Yes, yes I do. Heh thanks

Teh Critter: Thank you!

Blazing Fool: (is naïve) Oh of course! Take it since you said it was worthless! (gives stuff) Heh heh thanks!

Eternal Smasher: Thank you!

It never fully said in the game, so I've always assumed Link was seventeen and Young Link was ten, it seemed right lol

Those characters are paired with each other (sometimes).

Definite: (if you look at the moves of the characters you'll see where I got these)

Ness/Zelda (PK Fire/ Dins Fire, PSI Shield/ Nayrus' Love etc.)

Kirby/Jigglypuff (Jumps, Pounds, etc.)

Mewtwo/Samus (Charge Shot/ Shadow Ball, etc.)

Sort of:

Peach/Yoshi (their down A moves, egg toss/ turnip throw etc.)

Then, Luigi confuses me… but I'll find something. DK you're right about and the Ice Climbers I will pair with each other I suppose O.o

I'm not mad! Heh, criticism is good! (gives a muffin)

DPL: Heh heh, I'm sure Marth would rather wait…

PirateGoddess27- Heh, thank you lol. Yeah, Marth has it tough XD

BabyGurl1278- Now who could forget Roy right? lol.

shadowdragon93- You're wish is granted, or hope… yeah. Thanks!

**Thank ya reviewers! XD**

Disclaimer- (sigh) I don't own either SSBM or Fire Emblem.

Life after Exile

Chapter Two – The Fed-Ex crate

"Falco! You bastard! That was my _arm_! Why is your gun shooting my arm!" I frowned as I turned over putting the pillow over my head, trying to get a little sleep and block out the sound from outside. However, with my luck, that wasn't going to happen…

"Why is your arm in the way of my gun Fox? HUH?"

"ARGH! THE PAIN!"

"Geez, I only shot you with my gun. Stop bleeding and twitching on the floor." There was another gunshot which caused me to cringe slightly. "DUDE! THAT'S MY FREAKIN' LEG! WHY'RE YOU SHOOTING MY FREAKIN' _LEG?_!"

"MAYBE BECAUSE YOU SHOT _MY_ FREAKIN' ARM!"

"I HATE YOU!"

"I HATE YOU TOO!" There was a momentary silence in which I attempted to fall back asleep, but one of the voices ruptured it causing my eyes to shoot open.

"I'm sorry Falco, you're my best friend."

"You're mine also." I glanced at my clock; it was two in the morning. Enraged at the lack of sleep I was getting, I snatched my pillow, a blanket, and a hair brush, stuffed them into a bag and quickly opened the door to the hallway where the walking fox and bird were sitting hugging each other in a friendly way.

"Look," I said to them, my face was a red color as I tried to conceal my anger. "I am _tired_. I am going downstairs to sleep, but if I hear a single scream from you two and will kill you with my bare hands? Got it!" They both nodded as I walked off though I could still vaguely hear their voices from down the hall.

"What's his problem?"

"Must be her time of the month."

"Oh, I'm not sure if that was a girl or not… DUDE! YOU JUST POKED MY ARM!"

"I DID NOT!"

"OH THE PAIN!"

…

**Ding Dong!**

My eyes shot open with the sound as I struggled to get off the soft couch to investigate what the noise possibly could have been. It was the echo of a bell ringing outside the door… but what could it be? As my sleepy mind contemplated this question the bell rang again, more urgently this time. However I still sat pondering what could be possibly be making that sound when a voice from outside the entrance screamed "Open the damned door will ya!" I banged my fist into my hand in triumph completely ignoring the voice.

"It's a doorbell!" Then after my amazing discovery I opened the door. "May I help you?" There was a man in a brown uniform looking me over with an incredulous look in his eye that seemed to mock me.

"What? Did you come outta the renaissance or something?" I glanced down at my clothes; I was still wearing my shoulder armor, cape, and even my tiara.

"Renaissance? What's … ah nevermind, how can I help you?"

"Yeah, I have a delivery for Master Hand, is he here?"

"No, he left a while ago. I'll take the package to him if you want."

"Well this is no normal package." I glanced down; there was a crate next to him which had been bound shut by heavy straps. "It took us forever to get it… I'm not sure if it's legal to do this or not…"

"Why? What's inside?" The delivery man looked at me in fear.

"A half dragon…"

"A… what?"

"It was a real pain in the ass to catch; it kept setting people on fire and ranting about killer muffins. I suggest you leave the box closed until Master Hand gets back." I looked at the box which moved when whatever was in it pounded angrily. The delivery man steadied the box and said "Here." brandishing a smaller package which was wrapped in a brown paper. I looked at it curiously.

"What is it?"

"The half dragon's weapon, Master Hand wanted it as well. So will you take the box? We sure as hell won't take that thing back with us! I wish you luck."

"Well… actually, perhaps you should keep-"

"Excellent!" cried the man desperately pushing the box into the house. I moved aside to not be hit be the box while frantically protesting he take it back. He placed the box in the middle of the room and turned back to me and said, "Tell Master Hand I'll accept his payment later!" With that he ran from the mansion leaving the door wide open screaming about how a burden was lifted from him. I sighed and closed the door, all sleep had gone by now, and I came back into the room curious to see what exactly was in the mysterious crate. Gently I put the other package on a coffee table and looked the box over. It was rocking back and forth rather dangerously and making quite a racket.

"Be quiet! You'll wake the Smashers!" I cried not even sure if whatever was in there could hear me. To my utter surprise the box stopped moving.

"Then let me out! It's dark in here!" wailed a muffled voice from within.

"You can talk?"

"Yes." replied the creature curtly. "Of course I can, too much some people say… who're you?"

"Marth." I said lacking enthusiasm. It just wasn't the same without a fancy title to go around it.

"Can you let me out Marth?"

"No! According to that delivery man you're hazardous!"

"I only set a couple people on fire… it was no big deal really…"

"I think setting people fire is a big deal!"

"But-!" The voice was trembling slightly and stopped speaking and soon I could hear soft sobs from inside. At first I tried to ignore it and sat down on the couch, arms folded, listening to the howls and pleas. However I could feel them slowly eating away at my heart until…

"Fine!" I snapped quieting the voice at once. "I'll let you out! However you'd better stay quiet when you get out understand?"

"Thank you! Oh… yes." I reached for the straps and slowly began to undo them. They weren't hard to get off; all you had to do was pull the strap through a metal ring and unhook it from a piece of metal which went through the strap onto the rung. Having unfastened the first strap I began to unbuckle the second one and finally I pulled the two off and backed away from the box.

The front part slowly opened and out of the crate came a boy the age of sixteen, his fiery red hair was messily arranged and his shining blue eyes sparkled in gratitude. He was wearing shoulder armor similar to mine and he also had a flowing cape behind him. His hair was held up by a headband which went across his forehead; he was happily cheerfully grinning once he noticed me standing a slight distance away in fear. "Thank so much! It was getting stuffy in there!" I blinked in surprise.

"Wait… you're a kid!"

"Yep!" This boy looked vaguely familiar. After a couple moments of thought it finally hit me.

"I know you, Master Hand showed you to me on his 'computer'. You're the boy who's going to be my clone for the fights. What's your name?"

"Roy!" He gave the box a nervous glance once he was fully out. "You're not going to put me back in there are you? I'm afraid I don't like boxes that much anymore…"

"No! Of course not! Unless you don't cause trouble that is…" Roy gave me frightened look and glanced back at the box.

"I won't!" he replied quickly as he took a seat on the couch. Satisfied I took a seat next to him.

"Might I ask how you got in such a situation?"

"Well… you see… I had been outside my fathers manor just lazing around when all of the sudden a giant machine came up next to me with the words 'FedEx' written on the side. Then, much to my surprise, a couple men in brown uniforms came out of it and asked me to come with them to the Smashers' Mansion. Having no idea what that was I simply replied 'No.' and went back to whatever I was doing. The men did not seem satisfied and they said they would give me a muffin if I went with them. I gladly agreed for I really do like muffins and so they handed me one, I ate it and blacked out. The next thing I knew I was being forced into a box and there with three man on fire, running and screaming around it… so where am I?"

"The SSBM mansion, as it's called. I know very little about it or where it is, I came here after…" I paused, figuring I had already said too much. "Well that's not important, you're here to become a Smasher, and were recruited by Master Hand, the giant floating hand who runs this place… I really don't know much else." Roy thought about this for a moment.

"Alright." he said after a while. "Sounds fun!"

"_Fun_?"

"Yeah fun!"

"You were forced into a box, shipped to mansion, and you'll be forced to live and fight away from home and you think that's _fun_?"

"Well, you make it sound so _unfun_…"

"Unfun is not a word!"

"Says who?"

"Says-" Who did make up the basic rules of grammar and langue? I pondered this for a moment and then pushed it from my mind. "Nevermind, I think I'll go back to bed…" I got up to leave because, after my initial surprise, my lack of sleep began to take its toll. Roy blue eyes widened in fear.

"Don't!"

"Why?"

"I don't want to be by myself!"

"What? Why not?"

"I just don't…" I sighed.

"Alright then." Inside my mind I searched for a conversation topic. Finally, I came across one. "So, are you really a half dragon? He said there was one in the box, but you are person…"

"Ah!" said Roy proudly, his expression changing altogether as he leaned back on the couch. "I actually am half dragon!"

"You're joking right?"

"Nope."

"So one of your parents was a dragon?"

"Yep!"

"But…" I sighed; it was just too early for logic. At that moment, the doorbell rang once again preventing me from pressure the topic further. Being fully cognizant I called,

"Who is it?"

"Master Hand! Open up!"

"Don't you have a key or something?"

"Wha? Oh, yes I do!" After a clinking sound from outside, a couple 'Damn, that's not the right one's the door opened. "Oh!" cried Master Hand blissfully as he spotted Roy who sitting placidly on the couch. "It's our new contestant! I'm Master Hand."

"Nice to meet you!" Roy replied pleasantly. "Really, it is, I've never met a talking hand before…"

"Seriously? You people act like it's uncommon or something… well Roy, why not come up to my office? I'll explain what going on, like I did with Marth."

"Alright!" Roy replied, sounding rather chipper as he followed the giant hand up the stairs. "'Night Marth!"

"Goodnight Roy." I replied sleepily after the two went up stairs. Immediately as they went up I could hear the screams from the Fox and Falco, Master Hands' angered cry and the two came running down the stairs into the kitchen. I blinked slowly, and got up ready to ascend the stairs, deciding it was more quiet there than here.

…

I awoke again at about eight with the sunshine blaring into the room. It was warm though, and comfortable, so I closed my eyes and continued to lie in bed a bit longer. I didn't want to get up then, and nothing could make me…

"Marth…" called a voice gently outside the door. I ignored it and turned over. "Come on Marth!" the voice further protested. There was a defeated sigh from outside and I could hear the door creak as it opened. "Wake up!" This time the voice was even closer, it was right by my bed. This time I felt hands grasp my shoulders and legs and, with a firm shove, I found myself being roughly tossed out of the bed with all the blankets and pillows falling onto my head causing me to let out an excited yelp. After struggling to get freed from the tangle of blankets I stood up in a huff glaring at Roy who was standing on the other side of the bed with a guilty smile. My face flushed with anger and embarrassment.

"What?" I snarled, as my eyes gleamed dangerously. Roy shuffled his feet a little under my intense gaze but bravely answered,

"The new people are meeting downstairs in the living room in about an hour to find out what we'll be doing for this 'fighting thing' and what it is."

"I'll be there." I hissed angrily. The half dragon nodded and left with one last culpable look at me. Still grumbling I took off my tunic (it was in one of the drawers for me to change into for night) and changed back into my normal clothes. Once I had done that I grabbed my tiara and carefully placed it on my head making sure not to ruin my hair. Some people say the tiaras are kind of girlish but hey, what makes a guy look tougher than a diamond tiara?

…

I ascended the stairs and took one of the long halls down the living room where I could see Roys' flaming red hair above all else. After I taking a seat next to him and glanced around at the rest of the competition. Not too many people there seeing as it wasn't the full amount, I barely recognized any of them, but one I did…

"Heymarthhowreyoudoingtoday!" asked Young Link excitedly as he ran to me. I gave him a nervous smile as I worked to decipher the sentence.

"Good," I said finally "and you and you're older self?"

"Werereallyexcitedwellatleastiamidontknowhowhefeelssincehecanttalkhahah" I blinked for this sentence could not be understood by any human. In passing, I glanced at Roy to see if he knew what the child had said, but his look was just as confused. So I decided to use one of things I normally proclaimed as Prince to get myself out of embarrassing situations.

"Yes well, I must go to execute the peasants…" As I got up to go Master Hand floated into the room.

"Sit." he ordered me immediately. I gave him an indignant glare, and then obeyed. "Now, you all may be curious why you're here... Welcome to the Super Smash Brothers show!" He waited for an excited applause which he got none. "Yes, well, do any of you know what that is? Yes, Young Link?"

"Isitthatshowwhereallthepeoplefightandstuffandarelikedudeimfighting!" Master Hand was silent.

"Why are you speaking so fast?" he eventually asked. "Did you have sugar?" Young Link nodded excitedly. Roy let out a little gasp and suddenly called out,

"Why does _he_ get sugar! _I_ want sugar!"

"No." Master Hand replied curtly. "No sugar for you, Young Link who gave you it?"

"Ganondorfbecausehesaiditwouldbereallyfunnyifiwentallphyscoand-"

"Point to the person please…" The little elf pointed at a tan skin man with red hair who was sitting calmly on the couch with his arms crossed. "Gannondorf, why give him sugar?"

"It's funny." The man replied as Young Link jumped up and down excitedly.

"Yesitsfunnybutillstayquietforyoumasterhand!" Master Hand gave him a confused look so; to get his meaning across, Young Link pretended to zip his mouth shut.

"Ah yes." replied Master Hand approvingly. "Thank you. Now, Super Smash Brothers show is a television program in which we pit fighters, all from different backgrounds to fight each other. Now all of you come from different areas of one big world called 'Nintendo'. I have given each of the areas codenames which are normally related to important people or items which reside in that particular area. There was a previous season of the show before in which Mario, Donkey Kong, Link, Samus, Yoshi, Kirby, Fox and Pikachu starred, and were joined by Jigglypuff, Captain Falcon, Ness and Luigi later. So, with that being a huge success I've decided to host a second season with all of you and them! You all will be broken into pairs with your clones." I noticeably groaned but Roy simply asked,

"Do you have a stomach ache? You sound like you're in pain."

"With that over," continued Master Hand. "I would like to speak with last years' participants and inform them about all of you. So basically, we'll be talking about you all behind your backs' and after that we'll begin the first battle on air! So everyone ready? Nana? Popo? Zelda? Sh-" he paused and looked around the room. "Hey Zelda… where's Shiek?" One of the princesses stood up with her blue eyes wide with fear.

"Oh! I'll go get him for you!" Quickly she ran out of the room, and a moment after she left a man in a blue body suit and a turban ran in panting heavily.

"I'm here Master Hand sir..." he managed out between gasping breaths.

"Excellent, excellent, but where's Zelda." Shiek immediately stopped panting and straightened up to full height.

"Want me to go get her?" Before Master Hand replied the man ran out of the room and Zelda returned looking exhausted and red in the cheeks.

"Oh good! Zelda's here! What about-"

"Shut. Up." Zelda interjected furiously.

"Well." Master Hand continued completely forgetting Shiek after deciding it was too much work to get them both in here. "You are all dismissed until further notice! Why not go up to your rooms?"

"Why? You don't want us listening?" asked Falco as he cocked an eyebrow at the giant hand.

"No… of course not… but, yeah, you're right… let's try it like this. Up to your rooms or I'll shoot you where you stand."

"Sit." I corrected.

"Whatever!" He put his fingers in the shape of a gun at shot it at me. At first I figured he was just playing around but when actual missiles came out of his fingers I let out a frightened cry and darted out of the way. Once the action ended everyone rushed to the stairs to get up to their rooms, with me at the lead.

A/N How was it? I know I haven't really gotten to the other Smashers yet but the next chapter we get to some fighting so you'll see them. Thank you all! (bows) R&R! And if anyone was curious to see what Young Link had said I broke up the sentence for you.

**1**: Hey Marth, how're you doing today?

**2**: We're really excited well, at least I am, I don't know how he feels since he can't talk

hah hah.

**3**: Gannondorf because he said it would be really funny if I went all psycho and-

**I forget what number come next**: Yes it's funny but I'll stay quiet for you Master Hand!

Writing wise I don't think this chapter wet well, but it was harder because I was trying to introduce Roy and the tournament, but I'm sure the next one will be better. Until then, bye! (gives everyone muffins)


	3. The Smash Champ

A/N Welcome to chapter three! Yay! I'm sorry it's a bit late but… excited?

Audience: (crickets)

(coughs nervously) Um… yes, well... we'll have some fighting in this chapter, and some kind of plotline should form. Besides that there are no other notes I can think of…

Review Responses:

The Silver Kitty: Yes, you're nice. gives an entire bowl of cookies Thank you!

Wanchoo: sniffle Here, you can have a waffle instead, oh wait… it's blue berry too… damn Eggo and their blueberry waffles… Thank you!

Teh Critter: Ah well, I'm glad you left one lol. Thank you!

PirateGoddess27: it is… glares at Microsoft spell check

Microsoft spell check - what?

You said unfun isn't a word…

Microsoft spell check - well, I… what's that axe for? Are you- ah! Get away from me! runs

Heh heh, thank you!

BabyGurl278: Heh heh, dangerous giving the guy sugar XD Thank you!

Eternal Smasher: yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, cupcakes! XD Thank you!

Libster: I missed you! Thanks!

Blazing Fool: (blinks) Mind? I - I have one? Hmm… you learn something new everyday… yes! I wants to buy stuff! What a great deal! XD Thank you!

Swese- Heh, I like Marth too (as you can tell lol), but a lot of people have been request that one character show up more, I've already planned something for both Zelda and Link, so I promise you'll see her lol.

Ri2- Heh, another reviewer asked that too, I gave him this response:

Those characters are paired with each other (sometimes).

Definite: (if you look at the moves of the characters you'll see where I got these)

Ness/Zelda (PK Fire/ Dins Fire, PSI Shield/ Nayrus' Love etc.)

Kirby/Jigglypuff (Jumps, Pounds, etc.)

Mewtwo/Samus (Charge Shot/ Shadow Ball, etc.)

Sort of:

Peach/Yoshi (their down A moves, egg toss/ turnip throw etc.)

Then, Luigi confuses me… but I'll find something. DK I dunnoabout and the Ice Climbers I will pair with each other I suppose O.o

I doubt the fighting will be my main focus but I'll make sure everyone gets a partner. Thank you for the review! (oy is right, it confuses me too lol)

RoyalFanatic- Thank you! I add so many stories too my favorites lol, at one point I had ninety eight and had to delete older ones XD

Andersonfanandadmirer- Not necessarily… you! points at random person

Person: yes?

Me: chucks muffin

Person: Ah! O.O

yep… thank you! XD

**Thank you Reviewers! XD **

Disclaimer: (sigh) SSBM ain't mine just like the Twilight Zone isn't mine, though I'd like it to be, that's such a great show… though it's in black and white (coughs) sorry. I don't own Marth, Roy, or Fire emblem either. But I own the kumquat, yeeeeeees, the kumquat!

Life After Exile

Chapter 3- The Smash Champ

"Well?" Roy crossed his arms impatiently as looked me over with his bright blue eyes. I turned around to face him.

"Well what?" Currently we were standing upstairs after Master Hand had, ever so nicely, dismissed us to our rooms.

"Aren't we going to go spy on the meeting?"

"No." I responded stiffly, for I was still quite miffed about being pushed out of my bed this morning. Roy however seemed to take no notice of my anger.

"Why not? Think of what we could find out!"

"Like what?"

"Like… stuff."

"Wow, stuff." I muttered sarcastically.

"Yes, I'm glad you understand the immensenessness of the situated situation…"

"…Immensenessness?"

"Yes." said Roy impatiently as if I were a slow child. "Of the situated situation. So are we going?"

"No." With a glare at him I turned to walk down the hall to my room, but before I could even take a step I felt my tiara being ripped off my head. I spun around to face Roy, who was grinning mischievously and began to run down the hall waving the tiara over his head screaming,

"COME GET IT IF YOU DARE!" I felt my face redden with both embarrassment and rage as people turned to the scene and I bounded down the hall after the red haired pyromaniac with every intention to kill him.

…

"ROY!" I screamed at the top of my lungs after I followed him throughout the halls. Finally he stopped at the foot of the stairs, looked back at me, quickly he thrust the tiara in my hands (which were in a position to grab his and strangle him) and pulled me toward him while putting me into a headlock and covering my mouth. I struggled for a moment while letting out muffled cries, Roy was surprisingly strong (or perhaps I was surprisingly weak) but I quickly stopped when I heard voices echoing from downstairs.

"What do you all think of the new contestants?" came Master Hands' unmistakable voice. "Mario?" Finally I managed to signal to Roy that I'd stay if he let me go, and so he did. I peaked around the edge of the wall, down the stairs where I could see figures standing in the living room conversing. A man in a red hat and overalls jumped a little when Master Hand spoke to him.

"They seem-a fine." he replied with a shrug.

"Link?" In reply, Link only glared at the hand as to say 'You know I can't answer you moron.' Master Hand gave a nervous cough. "Sorry Link, I forgot. Ness, tell me how Link feels about the new constants."

"Say please." Ness, a kid with black hair and red hat, answered smugly.

"No."

"Link says that he's glad there are other swordsmen so he doesn't feel stupid, though isn't happy about his younger self being here. He says Young Link is rather annoying."

"How does he know what Link wanted to say?" I whispered to myself; however Roy seemed to think I was addressing him for he replied,

"Ness is physic. I found out this morning because he started reading my mind when I was thinking about Lilina… in ways she wouldn't be to happy about…" Assuming Lilina was his girlfriend (how he got one, I do not know) I nodded and resumed listening to the conversation.

"Alright, Captain Falcon?" A rather strong looking man with a blue helmet lazily looked up.

"That girl with the sword is cute."

"…What girl?"

"The one with the blue hair, you know her name's Martha or somethin'…"

"That's a guy." All the color drained from his face.

"Are you serious!"

"Yes." Roy sniggered as my face became as red as his hair. Master Hand gave a little sigh and continued, "Anyway, we're about ready for the fighting we'll be using different arenas than last season except of course, mostly from your worlds, a temple in Hyrule, Onett, the F Zero track etc. Is everyone alright with that?"

"Well, they're just made to look like our homes right?" asked Mario nervously. "I mean we're not actually fighting there…"

"No, we're fighting in the actual places."

"But you set up safety codes right?"

"Safety codes?" asked Master Hand with a little laugh. "What's that?" Everyone exchanged nervous glances as the Hand finished his speech, "Well that about wraps it up, you may all head upstairs and get the other contestants, we're ready for the fighting. However, I think I'm going to go upstairs and check if someone's listening to our conversation."

"Why?" Ness inquired. "We're finished anyway."

"Because… I… shut up." With that Master Hand began ascend the stairs.

"Marth!" called Roy in a nervous whisper. "Why did you force me to come here? Now we're going to get caught!" I placed my tiara back on my hair carefully and gave the mamkute a glare.

"_Me_? You-! Ah nevermind. We won't get caught."

"Really?" I turned around to see Master Hand floating menacingly behind us. "Link!" The elf came upstairs with a look that clearly said 'What? Am I your servant or something?' Master Hand ignored his glare and continued, "Tell the newbies to come downstairs; I'll take Roy and Marth down myself…"

…

"Alright!" Everyone was all sitting downstairs quietly as Master Hand came into the room dropping Roy and I unceremoniously on the floor. "We're ready to start the fighting. As you all know last seasons' Smash Champ was Jigglypuff." There was a series of groans as a small pink puffball stood up beaming. "The Smash Champ will fight the first match then the one to beat her becomes the new Smash Champ. I will choose a card. Each card has the name of every contestant here…"

He attempted to pick up a card unsuccessfully. "Link! Get up here a pick a card!" The disgruntled elf grabbed one of the cards and showed it to Master Hand who glanced at Roy and I and muttered, "No, not that one…" Link picked up another card and showed it to him. "Yes… that's good. Jigglypuffs' first contender will be… Marth! Well what are the chances of that?" I sighed as there were a series of sniggers from the other contestants. Something was strange though, last years competitors seemed solemn faced as they gazed at me… "Well let us start the fighting!" Master Hand made a grand gesture in the air and began to leave for the next room, the Smashers grudgingly followed.

…

The room we came into wasn't very elegant all it had several screens placed around and several chairs. Drab really, I was expecting something better. One thing made this room unique however; there were two metal doors at one end which gleamed ominously as if it were trying to warn us of the impending doom inside. Curious, I approached one and knocked a bit to see what was in there. Not a single sound from inside. I turned around to perhaps ask Master Hand but there was Ness with a look of sorrow on his face. "I wish you luck."

"Why? It doesn't look that hard to beat." Completely forgetting the door (for now I was interested in finding out what was up with everyone) I glanced at the pink puffball who was putting power on its face while looking at itself in a mirror. It glanced over at me and called,

"Jiggly puff puff! Jig!"

"What'd it say?" Ness shifted uncomfortably and answered.

"It said; I need to look pretty for when I beat you Marthy." The puffball smirked at me and went back to what it was doing. "Be careful Marth, that thing went completely undefeated last year…" I snorted in reply,

"I've beaten men much tougher than that."

"Have you beaten anything cuter than that?"

"Wha-" Before I could question that statement Master Hand picked me up opened the metal door, and flicked me in.

"This is a teleporter." he explained as he picked Jigglypuff up and placed her in the other door. "This will take you both to a _safe_ battle location. I was thinking… Hyrule Temple! Oh and by the way, I got your sword back for you." He grabbed my precious sword, Falchion, and threw it into the room. I glared at him, hoping it wasn't dented, and picked it up.

"How'd you get it back?"

"Ah, that's a story for another time." I had a feeling this story entailed a giant hand setting Altea on fire. "Now to the temple!" Before I could protest anything he closed both the doors leaving me alone in the dark. I sighed and turned around, but to my surprise I was floating in the sky rapidly approaching a crumpled building. I looked back to see the door, but it was gone, now I was standing on a little platform. My body was suddenly overtaken by a cold feeling, and I was frozen in place. Before I could even begin to wonder what the hell was going on a voice called,

"Hey Marth? Can you hear me? Of course you can, how couldn't you? This is Master Hand speaking through a voice emitter from the platform. Now you're probably what the hell is going on, right?"

"Yes." I muttered softly. "Why can't I move?"

"So you and Jigglypuff can start at the same time. While on the platform you're frozen in place, however once you approach the temple and hear, READY? GO! you'll be unfrozen and the match will begin. What you have to do is knock your opponent off the arena. You'll find your abilities are enhanced here; you have a double jump, and a shield. This is something you should have worked on in training."

"But, I've never-"

"You never trained? Well you should have…"

"But you didn't say-"

"Silence! We're approaching Hyrule Temple!" I decided to take his advice as my platform loomed nearer to the sanctuary.

…

"READY….?" My platform stopped above the temple, I could vaguely make out Jigglypuffs' outline as her platform moved vertically parallel to mine. "GO!" My body unfroze as I began to plummet toward the unforgiving stone floor. Jigglypuff had also fallen, but was unharmed and was standing before me grinning manically.

"Jigg, puff, puff!" I got to my feet and brushed my pants off.

"Whatever." I looked down at her to add a rather nasty word but I found my voice frozen in my throat. The puff balls' eyes were wide, and the most adorable smile dawned on its face. I blinked and raised my sword to hit it…but I couldn't… it was… so… cute! I dropped my sword and fell to my knees still staring at the creature. "You're… so… adorable!" Jigglypuff titled its head at me, smiled and suddenly launched itself forward hitting me in the stomach. I flew through the air and hit one of two pillars in the temple. _Ow… what the hell just happened! _Jigglypuff suddenly ran up to me, jumped, and kicked, hitting me squarely in the jaw. "OW! You brof my jaw you bifth!" The Pokemon grinned at me one more.

"Jig. Puff. Jig." I covered my mouth in pain and kicked the thing away from me in disgust. _Alright… I have to think clearly… _Jigglypuff had run up to me and was now biting me on the ankle making it quite hard to do so. _Ow! OW! Damnit! SH- no!… calm down… and… think. _And I did so, my current situation was good (not to mention increasingly strange) I was standing in a temple, with a broken jaw, and there was an overly cute puffball chomping down on my leg. _But it's not hopeless!_ I gave my leg a little shake as a possible solution for the increasing pain. No effect. So, with a cry of pain, I pried the pink demon from my leg and threw it into the ground. Jigglypuff rolled around gave me another kick n the stomach causing me to fall onto my knees and then, it began to sing.

I had never heard such a soothing melody in my life, the song radiated off the walls of the temple, and flowed around me as if it was sweetly calling, 'Sleep Marth… sleep…' I pushed Falchion into the ground and leaned on it, happy to comply. The show didn't really matter that much to me anyway… when I finally came to my senses the song had stopped and Jigglypuff dealt me another kick in the face.

I fell backward and grabbed Falchion and swung it her. Jigglypuff looked up at me with a hurt expression, I knew it was trying to fool me with its' cuteness again… but it was hard to resist… then it came to me, no matter how cute she was… _I _was better! It was just a ball of fluff! Girls _swooned_ over me! I grinned triumphantly in my egocentric moment while looked at the puffball with a superior stance.

"If's fot wofking." I informed her and brought Falchion down onto her blasting Jigglypuff right out of the stadium. I collapsed onto the ground but before I could even relax the platform came up from under me (from nowhere it seemed) and swooped me up into the sky.

…

I managed to pull my self into the viewing room with what little strength I had left. Master Hand seemed to take no notice of that. "Well done Marth! The viewers were getting a little tired of Jigglypuff always winning. The match was taped and- oh no! It didn't tape! You'll have to go back and fight again!" When he saw my alarmed look he laughed. "Nah, just kidding, how could we miss something like that? You must be in excruciating pain right now…" I nodded. "Go take an Advil." I was about to tell him that an Advil probably couldn't fix a broken jaw (and maybe a couple broken ribs I'd wager) but I had no strength to argue so I simply dragged myself to a chair and collapsed in it. "Try not to bleed in the chair okay? I like that chair." Master Hand added nonchalantly as he and another giant hand watched the footage. I nodded in pain and decided that I would simply settle for a pained whimper or two when a cat-like Pokemon approached me.

"Jigglypuff would like to talk to you." he told me with telepathy (unless he was just talking normal and I was delusional). I nodded numbly and got up to follow him to Jigglypuff. "I'm Mewtwo, and as I'm sure you deduced I encompass the use physic powers, so I will interpret her speech for you. Do you find this adequate?"

"Yef." He stopped once he heard my answer and turned.

"What is wrong with your speech?"

"I brof my 'aw and maybe som ofer fings…" Mewtwo nodded and held a hand to the side of my face. A warm feeling overtook my body and the pain slowly melted away.

"Has it recovered?"

"Yes, thank you." He paused.

"Don't bother your self. If I didn't owe that Pikachu and his friends I wouldn't have healed you."

"You _owe_ them?"

"Yes, I'd rather not speak about it…here we are. Jigglypuff, I have brought the boy you have instructed me to bring. From now on, everything I say will be a translation for Jigglypuff unless stated otherwise." Jigglypuff waved a hand to quiet him and turned to me.

"Jigglypuff jig."

"Hello dearie, take a seat." I happily did so.

"Jigglypuff. Jig, jiggly jig puff."

"Congratulations on your win! I must admit, I was tried of having the burden of that title on my shoulders though it did sound nice…"

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously.

"Jigglypuff jig jig!"

"Jigglypuff the Smash Champ! It has such a nice ring-"

"No, I mean about it being a burden."

"Jig… jigglypuff, jiggly jig, jigglypuff puff puff, jig puff!"

"Oh… well being the smash champ has it rewards and its downfalls."

"Like what?"

"Jiggly, jiggly puff puff, jig jig puff, jigglypuff, jig, jig, puff, jig jiggly, puff jigglypuff, jiggly puff, jiggly puff puff!"

"You see, it does earn you some respect, and makes you an automatic fan favorite but there's always people trying to sabotage you out of jealously or for their own reasons, and with all the villains here, I'm rather glad I'm not the Smash Champ anymore!" Initially I had been happy about the title but now…

"Jigglypuff puff puff, jig!"

"I have to do my makeup before dinner, chow!" With that I got up, feeling less and less happy by the second…

…

"Hey Marth! Congratulations!" Roy called to me happily as I approached the door to my room. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine."

"Good because, you have another battle tomorrow! Maybe it'll be a team battle!"

"Yay." I was really tired and Roys' jabbering wasn't helping one bit.

"Yes, we're having dinner in a few. I think I'll go help cook." The thought of Roys' cooking seemed disgusting to me but I said nothing, I only opened the door, slammed it shut, and collapsed on my bed.

…

An hour later I walked down the stairway, my absolute exhaustion had long subsided and a steady rumbling of my stomach had kicked in. It didn't take long to realize I was hungry. Remembering what Roy had said I took a seat at the table next to the other Smashers when Gannondorf burst out of the kitchen balancing a single bowl on his hand. Zelda raised an eyebrow at him.

"You cooked?"

"No, _Roy_ did. Hey bishie, this is for you." He put the bowl in front of me and sat down.

"What about the rest of us?" Young Link whined, "We wanna eat too."

"Give Roy more time to cook, you're so impatient, may Din help you." The boy whimpered in response, held his stomach and got to his feet.

"I'm going in the kitchen to get something to-"

"NO!" Gannondorf cried suddenly picking up the boy and dropping him back into the chair. "You'll err… slip and hurt yourself…. on the… octopus…" Link gave Gannondorf a look which would have said 'What octopus?' but Young Link simply sighed in relief.

"Thank you Gannondorf, I wouldn't want to fall."

"No, no you wouldn't. Marth! Why haven't you eaten?" I anxiously poked the contents of my bowl with a fork.

"Is… this safe?"

"Of course it is! Why would I give you something that would make you sick or possibly poison you to death? Eat it!" I picked up a little on my fork but before I could eat it the fork was knocked out my hand and the bowl was in half. I looked up at Link who was standing on the table, sword out, and smashing the bowl to bits.

"What the hell are you doing!" Someone yelled. Ness coughed a little and said,

"Link believes the 'food' is poison and Marth shouldn't to eat it; and he mentioned whoever couldn't see that is a moron." Caption Falcon sunk down in his chair.

"I could completely tell." he murmured softly as if trying to confirm it himself. Before I could say anything the table cloth (which had the food all over it) began to smoke and melted away, I blinked in surprise and asked,

"What the hell did Roy put in there?" Link smacked his forehead as if to say 'You idiot! Roy didn't cook that!' and began to drag me into the kitchen when Gannondorf grabbed the back of his tunic and threw him into a wall. His hands began to glow and a large crystal formed around the green clad warrior and floated up into the air. Gannondorf snarled at him, as Link pounded in his prison.

"Now I have to come up with a new plan to tamper with 'The Smash Champ'." I watched in silence and then got up quietly and walked into the kitchen while everyone was distracted.

…

"ROY!" I screamed as I entered the kitchen letting the door slam behind me. To my utter surprise he was no where in sight.

"What?" I heard Roys' muffled reply from within the closet on the far side of the kitchen. I opened the door and raised an eyebrow at him.

"What are you doing?" His back was to me and he was digging through a box while tossing stuff over his shoulder.

"Gannondorf said there were helpless pajamas in here that need my help!"

"….Pajamas, as in night clothes?"

"Yes and they need my-"

"Gannondorf tricked you, Roy… while you were in here he must have poisoned my food…" Roy finally turned to look at me; his eyelids were dropped as if under a spell.

"But the pajamas…" I sighed, he probably _was_ under a spell, Gannondorf must have magic if he can trap people in giant crystals… W_ell it would probably subside soon_. I decided playing along would the best solution, for now.

"You're right Roy, but I believe the pajamas are up in my room, let's go upstairs and get them, but you'll have to come out of the closet first." He happily stood up and shuffled toward me,

"If you say so, I trust you with such an important task."

"Good." With that I hit him over the head with the blunt side of Falchion.

…

"Marth, can you let me out now?" Roy whined. I groggily opened my eyes. After dinner I had locked Roy in _my_ closet and fell asleep on the bed listening to his whines of 'I have to save my nightie!'.

"Are you still looking for pajamas?"

"No." I pulled myself out of bed and opened the door for him assuming the enchantment had worn off. When the door was fully open Roy was standing there, his eyes were wide open and he was hoping from foot to foot.

"What-?"

"I have to go to the bathroom!" Roy cried running past me and out of the room. I sighed and took a look at the clock. _1:00 am … and I still haven't eaten a thing. _

…

The dinning room was engulfed in darkness when I got downstairs, except for the light of the moon which provided just enough for me to see. I could barely walk, for I was just too hungry, so I straggled about until

_**Crash! **_

I fell backward in surprise and looked up to see what I had banged into. There was the giant floating crystal, with Link sitting inside with a rather bored expression. I tapped on it to get his attention and asked,

"That thing still hasn't let up?" He nodded sullenly and let out a silent sigh. "Well I'll get Master Hand for you on my way back upstairs." I carefully edged around it into the kitchen (almost tripping across several chairs on the way).

…

"I need food…" I cried to no one in particular as I entered the kitchen. Just as I was about reach the fridge I felt something tightening around my leg. It was a rope, and I had walked straight into a trap. I let out a scream of terror as my leg was pulled out from under me and pulled up into the air stupidly suspending me above the ground and upside down. _That rhymed, I should really think about taking a poetry class or something… _but before I could think about that further Falchion slipped out of it's sheath and my cape fell forward (due to the laws of gravity) causing great confusion as I struggled to pick up my sword and restrain the cape at the same time. Just before I thought that this situation couldn't possibly get any worse Bowser walked in with a grin on his face,

"Gotcha!" the turtle monster cried while doing what looked like a victory dance. I scowled at him.

"So what's this supposed to do?" I finally got a hold of the cape and tried to reach for Falchion while I spoke. "Make the blood rush to my head? At least the other guy tried to eliminate me. This plan doesn't seem very deserving of your dance." Bowser stopped dancing long enough to pick up Falchion himself and gave me a sneer.

"Well you see, you didn't eat dinner, so I figured you must be hungry."

"I'm not hungry!" I lied, but my stomach gave a large rumble to betray the statement. Bowser simply waved the comment away and continued,

"So I though I could use your hunger to my advantage and wa-la!" There was silence as he triumphantly crossed his arm and grinned at me as I hung there.

"And?" I finally asked.

"And what?"

"And, what does suspending me from the ceiling have anything to do with my hunger?"

"Well… you can't get to the fridge! HA!" I glanced at the fridge which was right in front of me (upside down of course). With a glance at Bowser I reached forward, opened the door, pulled out a kumquat and began to eat it. The Koopa looked shocked.

"How? I- I think I made a mistake in the plan design… maybe – maybe I was suppose to put a shark tank under you or… something… I'll check evil plan #223 again later… for now I'll use… IMPROVISION!" He took away the kumquat and picked the fridge and placed it on the other side the room. "There, now what will you do?" Now I had several options to consider…

Scream for help

Figure out a brilliant plan

Scream for help

Or wait for a miracle to happen

I had decided that screaming for help would my best option so I opened to my mouth scream when option four occurred. The door to the kitchen suddenly burst open and there was Roy standing there hopping from foot to foot, and he cried,

"Kirby got stuck in the toilet I need the plunger because I got to gooooooo!" He seemed to take no notice of my predicament as he ran past us to the closet, quickly grabbed the plunger and began to run back when he collided with Bowser who had walked over to knock him out so he couldn't help me. Falchion flew out of Bowser hands and by fate landed before me. I strained against the rope, grabbed it and cut myself loose. As Bowser fought to free himself from the confused pyromaniac and ran to the fridge, grabbed a yogurt, and ran back out as fast as I could.

A/N Yeah, this chapter was a bit confusing, this is just Marths' daily life I guess. The next chapter is an entirely new situation which will probably take place after the fighting. I know these might by questions in reviews so I'll try to clear stuff up,

Yep, scream for help was supposed to be there twice.

I know I'm mean to Link, but I promise something really good will happen to him soon for fangirls.

That chair joke may be a running joke, I dunno, it was in the first chapter too XD

The pajama thing must have been confusing, but if you couldn't gather from the story, I'll explain it in a review response.

My kumquat! (runs off) And a kumquat is a type of fruit.

I'm sure there's a lot of grammar mistake (this might be a flame attractor but…) feel free to point em' out!

That's it! Till next time! Thank you!


	4. The Matchmaker Prince

A/N Omg… new chapter was late… bet you all thought this story was going to grave right? Well HAH! Wait, you didn't think that? Oh… alright then… anyway as the title suggests this chapter has a little romance, though it won't necessarily revolve around Marth, (hint, hint, wink, wink) well, directly anyway… I'm so sorry for the lateness! (bows)

Review Responses: (I'm not sure if I'm allowed to have these or not… if not I would appreciate if the administers explained this rule to me.

Teh Critter- Save them! Run! The poor nighties! (cries) Thank you!

Zekoi- I'm lazy too XD Thanks!

RoyalFanatic- Basically what it was, Gannondorf had put Roy under a spell and made him think he had to go rescue pjs from the closet, so pretty much he just confused him. Since Roy was the cook he simply poisoned the food he made and brought it out to Marth while Roy was all distracted. I wrote that part at midnight, so make lack of sense is made evident, and I needed something to keep Roy busy for a while XD Thank you!

Andersonfanandadmirer- Yes I do too, though I'm more worried how he'll get poor Kirby out of a toilet! Thank you for reviewing!

Eternal Smasher- Thank you, and you shall have your chapter!

The Silver Kitty- Thank ya! And I fixed the mistake XD

Ri2- Lol, true. However, Bowser isn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box XD Thank ya!

PirateGoddess27- Thank you! Some people didn't get the pajama thing, then others were like 'That part was so funny!' I guess it all depends on the reader lol.

BabyGurl278- Yeah, neither do I, I'm not that big a Pokemon fan really, but my little sister adores Pokemon, so I did that for her. Thanks!

Libster- Heh, I don't know where I get it, but my twisted little mind must pull it from somewhere lol. Thank you!

Blazing Fool- Heh, that got me nervous until I saw your name and the rest of the review XD Thank you!

Wanchoo- heh, but I didn't make _Link_ cry… yet. XD Just kiddin' thank you!

Shiru23454- YES! THAT'S THE WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD I had seen the word 'manakete' in a story and I assumed it was misspell of mamkute. Thank you! bows It would be cool if Hector was in it, but I'd like to see Eliwood for some reason… but then again, SSBM came out before Fire Emblem 6, and well… I don't want to give away a spoiler to the game lol. I have a link in my profile next to the word Skater Punk (some numbers) which is a link to a translation of FE6.

I'll have to try and fix the mamkute thing, but I had read it did mean half dragon at some character info site, ah well, it's my fault really. I wouldn't be surprised if Master Hand did do that, but I kept to the game, I mean I believe Altea was invaded in the game and then Marth went to Sheeda's land, though I think he was younger when that happened… ah screw it.

Thank you for all those awesome reviews on the Twilight Zone XD. I was reading the translation as I read, and once I had finished I started Life after Exile, so know I know all about Roy (in the most un-stalker like way possible lol) which is strange since I changed the main character O.o Dark Link was a really good guess, but I had planned it around the Wireframes and the fake administration thing. It was rather short, but it was more of an experiment to get back into writing.

Disclaimer: I don't own SSBM or the poem which is by Shakespeare, from a Midsummer Night's Dream. (cries)

Life after Exile

Chapter Four- The Matchmaker Prince

"Roy? Have you seen Link anywhere?" The crazed half dragon stopped what he was doing and turned to look at me.

"Yeah, wasn't he floating in a crystal last night?"

"Yes, but he's out now. According to Master Hand you and I have a team match against him and Young Link today…" It was now one in the afternoon, the show would start in an hour, and with me being the Smash Champ I would of course be in the match. After seeing my absolute exhaustion yesterday Master Hand exclaimed that I should do a team match, it might add more drama to the fights. If by drama he meant me running around with my hair on fire because Roy decides he wanted to give me a hair cut in the middle of the fight, I whole heartedly disagreed.

"Oh, well ask the squirt then, he was downstairs with Ness and the Ice Climbers playing videogames, he should know where is older self is."

"Thank you." I replied as he went back to what he was doing, which happened to be setting little pieces of paper on fire with his sword and flicking them at people. So as I began to walk down the long halls to reach the stairs (we never had halls this large back in Altea, if we did the architect would have been hung) when I stopped in my tracks. There was Link peaking in through the door into a bedroom. Now most people would think that this something fairly normal, especially for a place like this, but Link was normally more _sane_ than the others (well, from what I've gathered) why would he be spying on something? Carefully and quietly I stood behind him and looked through the crack to see what he was looking at.

The room was completely pink, from the pink bedspread, to pink carpets, to fuzzy little pink teddy bears. Link took a deep breath (for pink and emerald green can clash so horridly, I would be nervous too) and burst into the room and began to look around, opening drawers, spewing their contents, and basically making a mess.

"You are going to clean this up aren't you?" I asked forgetting all stealth (I was a neat freak, I couldn't help it) and entering the room. Link hastily nodded and suddenly stopped and looked at me stupidly realizing I was here. "Is this Zelda's room?" He nodded in response. "Well what are you looking for?" He looked around in one of the drawers again and then pulled out a bright pink book and handed it to me. "This is her diary, are you going to read it?" Link rubbed the back of his head embarrassedly. "You _can_ read, can't you?" When Link shook his head response I sighed and answered, "Fine, I'll read it to you then." I carefully took the pink book from him and began to read aloud,

"Dear Diary,

Link and I are going to the SSBM tournament today! I got this letter before…

'To the cross dressing elves,

I would like to invite you both to come and fight on my show Super Smash Bros! I sent out one invite to the Hero of Time before…. but I think it got lost in another dimension… or something… so just share this one with him. Now transportation will be arranged by FedEx, I would like an rsvp. soon. Actually it doesn't really matter if you say no or yes, if you refuse I will set Hyrule on fire and force you here, really… I will.

With love,

Master Hand…'

I'm really excited, and I would guess Link is too, but lately he hasn't been able to talk due to a traumatic accident with a snail and a pizza at the last SSB tournament, poor thing, but he's still is playing the hero role, making sure the FedEx people aren't psychos. I can't wait to see his reaction when I start fighting!

I'll write tomorrow!

Zelda"

I blinked. "There another page, should I go on?" He eagerly nodded and I turned it and began to read again,

"Dear Dairy,

"I sort of miss Hyrule, but I suppose we'll be going home one day. I don't think the giant hand would be to happy if I left without any notice. Gannondorf has come to the tournament too, I don't really like him though, being trapped in a giant crystal wasn't fun at all. Link got trapped in one last night when annoyed Gannondorf by saving some guy from a poison soup. Weird. We had a little surprise too; Links' younger self came to the tournament! Kind of makes me wish I was a kid again…

Well I go to go! Bye bye!

Zelda"

"This must be a new diary then," I muttered once I had finished "because that was the last page…" Link looked absolutely crestfallen by the announcement. I blinked in surprise. "What were you expecting to hear something in the dairy, a secret or something? Maybe-" I stopped myself with a little gasp of realization. "Maybe you have a crush on Zelda, and you want to find out if she liked _you_ too!" His blue eyes widened in surprise and he grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of the room.

…

"Ow!" I couldn't but to cry out as the angered Hylian had roughly pulled me down the hallway and pinned me up against the wall. Though on the inside I was quaking at the sight of the enraged elf, but I put on a seemingly calm smirk and asked, "You like her though, am I right?" He curtly nodded and pushed me even harder up against the wall with a look that clearly said 'If you tell I'll _kill _you.'

"I won't tell." I muttered in response to his angered glare. Slowly he took the pressure off my arms until they were completely off me and crossed across his chest. I massaged one my arms with my hand. "Are going to confess your love to her?" He shook his head. "Why not? Oh…" He was in quite a problem, since he couldn't speak he wouldn't be able to tell Zelda he loved her, and if he couldn't read, he probably couldn't write a letter confessing his love either. "Well, you know. I can help you out…" I announced royally to the lovesick warrior. "With going to all those regal parties and stuff and meeting princesses it's what I'd normally have to be a matchmaker. People would either be enlightened and find the love of their life thanks to me, or be horribly embarrassed and end up locking themselves in the their rooms. Oh but you shouldn't be nervous!" I added hastily when he seemed a bit alarmed by what I had said. "I get it right about… sixty percent of the time…"

Link leaned up against the wall in thought and finally nodded giving me permission to set him up. "Excellent, this is going to be hard though, I'll let you know when I have a plan…" Once he has left I let out a sigh of relief. Was I really a good matchmaker? No… but I did owe Link for saving my life, _twice_. What's a better way to repay someone than helping them obtain the love of their life, right? I turned to go down the hall from which I had come when I suddenly ran into Shiek who stood, arms folded, and looking me over with his red eyes.

"You're setting Link up with the Princess eh?" he asked, his voice slightly muffled by the turban.

"Were you spying on us?"

"Yes, and might I add you'd better clean my- I mean the Princess's room, yeah… that's what I meant, really." I raised an eyebrow at him and he continued, "I have an idea to set the two up."

"Really?"

"No… just kidding, yeah I do. Why don't you have him write a love letter?"

"He can't write."

"I know that, stupid, but _you_ can."

"How would I know what he would want me to say? He can't talk either."

"I know _that _too Mr. I'm-going-to-tell-Shiek-stuff-he-already-knows. You can use a physic, like Ness or Mewtwo and find out what he wants to say."

"That's brilliant!" I blurted out, despite the fact Shiek had just referred to himself in the third person.

"Yes, I know."

"How am I supposed to get one to agree?"

"Here." He held out a strange ball thing with a string attached.

"What is it?"

"A yo-yo. Give it to Ness, and I'm sure he'll agree."

"So you want me to bribe him? Where'd you get that yo-yo anyway?"

"I took it…. from some guy, look does it matter? Take the damn yo-yo and set the two up." I hastily grabbed the yo-yo just in case he decided to take it back.

"But why are you helping-"

"Argh! Enough questions! I have to go!" He took out an acorn from his pocket and violently tossed it at the floor. At first I wasn't worried, what could an acorn do? But when the thing burst into a flash of light, I let out a surprised gasp as I was blinded a moment. When sight finally returned Shiek was gone.

…

"Okay, now here the plan, I will… Ness! You're going to break a lamp with that thing!" Ness immediately stopped spinning his new yo-yo around and grinned at me sheepishly.

"Sorry Marth, so why'd you call me to your room and give me this yo-yo again?"

"I don't expect you to remember since I haven't told you yet." Link, who was sitting on my bed hugging his knees, looked up with a bored expression. I had been fighting with the physic for over an hour now, he seemed to be trying to test my limits. "Look, I called you here for a reason. Link likes Zelda." The boy opened his mouth to say something but I immediately quieted him. "Now as you know Link can't talk, so I need you to-"

"You need me to tell you what Link wants to say using telepathy so you can help him write a love letter to the Princess."

"How… how long have you known that?"

"A hour." he replied with a superior grin. This conversation was getting no where fast.

"Alright then, now we can get on with our lives." I muttered as I grabbed the paper and took seat at the desk. "Well, let's begin… ready Link?" He nodded as Ness closed his eyes and began,

"Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Sugar is sweet,

But you smell like poo…"

I raised an eyebrow at Link who automatically smacked Ness in the back of the head. "Ow…" the physic muttered with a distain tone of voice, "that's child abuse, I should sue." I heaved a sigh as his look of pain turned to amusement. "Sorry Marth, let's do that again."

"Fine, but I want you to _actually_ tell me what _Link_ says." I posed my self to write as Ness translated,

"Dear Zelda,

goddess, nymph, perfect, divine!  
To what, my love, shall I compare thine eyne?  
Crystal is muddy. O, how ripe in show  
Thy lips, those kissing cherries, tempting grow!  
That pure congealed white, high Taurus snow,  
Fann'd with the eastern wind, turns to a crow  
When thou hold'st up thy hand: O, let me kiss  
This princess of pure white, this seal of bliss!"

I gaped at the Hylian in shock. "That… was beautiful… those were his exact words Ness?"

"Yes… it was exact…" I put the finishing swirl at the end the 's', shaking my head as I did so. Sometimes, I wonder why I just don't expect the irony… "So what do I write at the end? Love, Link?" Link nodded and I began to extravagantly write, 'Love...' when, suddenly, the letter was snatched from my hand. I glanced at Ness, expecting it to be floating around his but to my surprise he looked just as confused. So I turned again, to see who had taken it, and there was Gannondorf and Bowser, side by side, reading.

"Heh, you like _her_?" Gannondorf asked me with a smirk.

"No! I was writing it for-" He waved a hand to silence me as he read.

"Did you show it to Zelda?" Bowser asked curiously with a slight giggle (it's quite strange to hear a monster turtle chuckle).

"No! Of course not! I didn't-"

"Did someone say my name?" Zelda questioned as she entered the room looking around quizzically.

"Yeah," Gannondorf muttered. "The pansy here wrote you a love letter."

"I didn't write it!"

"You had to have, skirt boy probably can't write and I doubt Ness has such extravagant penmanship." He was right… my handwriting was extremely elaborated script complete with swirls, dots and fancy lettering, no one but a noble could possibly write like that.

"But, you don't- I-"

"Oh Marth!" Zelda said suddenly, her blue eyes widening in surprise as they rested upon me. "This… is beautiful!" She suddenly ran to me and wrapped arms around me. "I love it!"

"But…" I responded weakly as she moved toward me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"I have to go now." She said as she pulled away. "After all, I must cheer for my love in the upcoming battle!" she winked at me and, with another kiss, walked off.

"Wow…" Bowser muttered. "Maybe I should write more poetry…" Gannondorf raised an eyebrow at him.

"You write poetry?"

"Well… shut up." They both walked out, Bowser at the lead, and Gannondorf behind him, laughing.

"Did Link leave?" I asked Ness exasperatedly as I put my head in my hands once they had gone.

"Yep, right after she kissed you."

"Damn it."

"Don't feel bad; after all, I wouldn't if Zelda gave me a kiss."

"But I don't want Zelda… it's Link…"

"You want _Link_?"

"No! I have a battle against him soon…"

"Ah, I get it, now he's so angry that he'll _murder_ you in battle…" he glanced at my grim expression and hastily added, "Well, I didn't mean _kill_ you… I meant like…. he'll… aw…. hell yeah you're going to die."

"Can you see into the future?"

"Why?"

"Can you?!"

"Yes, vaguely."

"Any tips?" He sat on the bed and thought about it.

"Look out for the Pokeball."

"That's all you can give me?!"

"Yep."

"Thanks for the help then." I muttered with a most sarcastic tone.

"No problem." With that the red capped physic stood and left the room with a warning. "_Don't _forget it." I snorted in reply to that statement as I readied myself for the match.

…

"Ready Marth?" Roy asked, sounding rather chipper, as he stepped into the metal door an hour later.

"Not really…" I responded, sober in tone. Roy however seemed to take no notice of it as he continued to ramble about strategies and plans.

"I was a general you know." he bragged in midst of his ramblings as I shuffled beside him. "I commanded the Lycia Alliance!"

"Really?" It was almost impossible to imagine Roy leading _anything_ let alone an army.

"Yes but I had some help of course, from this annoying guy, Merlinus, who never let me done anything I wanted to do. Heck it was always 'Roy, we should do this', 'Roy we should do that' 'Roy! Bern isn't _in_ that direction!' 'Roy pay attention; and stop _staring_ at the Fire Emblem because it's shiny!' but in the end I killed him and dumped his body in the river."

"You're kidding… right?"

"Yeah! Well… actually, I haven't seen him in a month…maybe I did…and just forgot…" Roy's rambles were cut off when the door slammed shut and soon we found ourselves heading for the arena, Kanto stadium.

…

"Uh oh…" Master Hand murmured softly through the platform's voice emitter as we neared the stadium.

"'Uh oh' what?" I asked irritably, desperately hoping I could get this battle over with before Link becomes even more steamed over time.

"It seems there's a Pokemon battle at the stadium..." Roy, whose platform wasn't to far from my own, cocked his head.

"Someone is already fighting there?"

"Yes, I'll send Crazy to clear em' out for you." Our platforms came by the stadium and stopped suddenly hovering above it. Two boys who were currently instructing their Pokemon looked up with widened eyes.

"Who're you?" one asked tentively, his red hat fell back a bit revealing his black hair.

"I am... Marth."

"I'm Ash, why've you come?"

"To fight of course."

"Then come down."

"I can't move; I have to wait until the battle starts."

"Okay… but the battle has already started…"

"Not my battle…" Before the child had a chance to reply to my strange comment a rather loud explosion took place, and there were several screams from the audience (who must have come to watch the Pokemon battle).

"I aM CrAzY HaNd!!!!!!!! OoOoOoOoH FeAr MeEeEeE!" came a booming voice as a hand floated in constantly twitching. "BeEeEeEeWaRe!" At first I figure it was Master Hand, but I was pleasantly surprised when Master Hand's voice floated in from the voice emitter.

"Yeah Crazy! Go! GO! Blast those suckers!" So the other giant hand began to shoot missiles from his fingers causing the two trainers to fall off the edge into the abyss.

"Will they be alright? Roy questioned nervously. "I mean, you're not going to leave them there, are you?" The Hand stopped twitching and gave (what looked like) a shrug.

"I guess…" he replied completely losing the insane tone of voice, "It doesn't really matter… does it?"

"Well… I guess not…"

"Good then, ah Link and Young Link are here." I glanced up to see Link and Young Link's platforms arrive on the other side of the field. The older Hylian had a look of anger, and pure determination on his face while he glared at me in anger, the other however, was the exact opposite.

"Hiya Martha, Roy." Young Link chirped with a bright smile.

"It's Marth." I responded stiffly, not even returning the greeting.

"Ha I know; it was just a joke. Geez, I don't know what it is with people today. First my older self is all pissed off and know you are too!"

"Yeah!" Roy interjected suddenly. "Fox was also angry! However, it may have something to do with the fact I accidentally spilled paint all over his fur…" Luckily, this, already pointless, conversation was not elongated for Crazy Hand called out,

"Alright Master Hand! Tell the underpaid announcer to begin!" Almost immediately after he said that a proud voice called,

"Ready…" Crazy Hand took off high into the air to keep out of harm's way. "GO!" Finally the platforms were dropped and my movement returned. There was precious little time to rejoice as Link immediately came bounding toward my, his eyes seemed to have a hidden fire in them.

"Now Link…" I reasoned backing up, "Let be rational." As if to say, 'RATIONAL?! KISS MY ASS!' he swung his sword almost taking off my head. Forced to fight I stepped backward and stabbed, which he of course sidestepped at the right time so I only cut a bit of his tunic. I turned and gave a diagonal hack which he parried and pushed me back causing me to stumble more several steps (later I'll make this a dance craze…). Taken aback by how quick he was I took a couple more reverse steps and then ran in on him with as much ferocity as I could muster, which wasn't much, considering I seemed to be the bad guy in this situation. Before I could even hit him he pulled out a strange silver object which shot a chain at me and with a surprised gasp from me it punctured my shoulder completely submerging the pointed tip and began to pull me toward him with causing a throbbing pain. "Damnit Link!" I muttered as I gripped the chain and tried desperately to pull it out. "I'd better not get sick from that!"

Link readily smiled in reply as I managed to pull out the chain with a hurt yelp and grabbed my wounded shoulder, as if it would help. "You son of a-" He swung at me before I could say anymore of my insult which I thought was quite rude indeed. To dodge I did a perfect back flip and landed on my feet and slashed at his chest, surprisingly I hit. My cut wasn't that deep but he did drop his sword as he curled up in pain clutching the gash. While he was distracted I made a move for his sword but my foot was suddenly pulled out from under me and fell to the ground. Glancing back I saw Link, who immediately pulled himself up after pulling _me_ down, and sat on my back. There he pulled my arms behind me and grabbed his sword and forced it to my neck. "Link… listen to me…" I began slowly, as if speaking fast would cause him to kill me. "I was trying to help you… I never expected that to happen…" He simply pressed the sword closer until a trickle of blood came down my neck. Just as I thought I was surely going to die a red a white ball landed in front of me and opened up revealing a grand white light. I looked at it in awe, and I could vaguely hear Roy's voice saying,

"Hey, what does that ball I threw _do_ exactly?" Link eyes widened as he looked at it and immediately got off me as a huge green and white creature appeared. As quickly as it came it jumped into the air, and came back down throwing both me and Link off the edge and into the darkness. As I fell, everything began to break up, I wasn't sure if this was supposed to happen, but my body landed flat on something, the platform had caught me. My mind was riddled with pain as I passed out.

…

"Oww…" I muttered when I finally became conscious. There was a figure standing over me in a white outfit with a doctor's band around his head.

"Don't move." he instructed with a heavily accented voice. "Are you in pain?"

"Would that throbbing sensation in my shoulder be pain?"

"Yes."

"Then I'm in pain."

"Well alright then." he chirped completely changing the mood. "You're ready to go then. Hopefully you're arm should be fine by tomorrow…" Gladly I got up and viewed my surroundings.

"Where am I exactly… and who're you?"

"I'm Dr. Mario of course, and this is my room/treatment center."

"How far is it from my room?"

"Your room is just across the hall!"

"Really?"

"Yeah…." Gingerly I got to my feet and opened up the door a crack to take a peak outside, sure enough, there was the door to my room.

"Wow… that's convenient… was Link here too?"

"Mmmhm. He left long before you, I had to send my nurse to keep him from killing you…"

"Your nurse?"

"Princess Peach."

"I thought she was the greeter/guide person…"

"Well she's multitalented…"

"And… did we win the match?" Dr. Mario paused.

"Roy ended up beating Young Link so you get to keep your title for now." I let out a sigh of relief; it would have been almost embarrassing to lose the title _that_ fast… "But, you'll have to fight partially injured tomorrow… if we have a fight of course. Anyway, I'll see you in a little while to change the bandages on your shoulder." I nodded and immediately got up taking that as a signal to leave.

…

_I guess… I owe Roy for this match… _I hated to admit it to myself, as I stood in the hall trying to open the door my room. _Regardless, if he asks me to write a love letter I'll __**kill**__ him… _My violent thoughts soon turned to fear as a hand gripped my already hurt shoulder. So I turned, to look at the source, and found Shiek standing there, with Link behind him.

"I have something to tell both of you…" I glanced at Link who simply glared at me and turned to look at Shiek who apprehensively continued. "Link…" he turned to the green clad warrior and pulled down the bottom of his turban, revealing most of his face (but since he was facing away from me I couldn't see him). "I know you wrote me that letter…" I blinked"And… I wasn't you to know… I love you too…" _What the hell is going on?! _"You're the only love I want… I knew there was a way to express your love to me… and kissing Marth was it so you would fight for… that showed me how much you love me… I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner…" With that leaned closer to Link and slowly wrapped his arms around him saying, "I love you Link…" and then kissed him, passionately and seriously. My eyes must have been deceived; this couldn't possibly be what I thought it was… Shiek broke off the kiss and turned to me completely revealing his face… or should I say _her_ face since it was Princess Zelda who was looking at me.

"Sorry to have gotten you involved in this Marth… I can't offer you more than that…"

"It's… no problem… I'm sure the pain in my shoulder will ebb away eventually… if I'm not scarred for life…" Link gave me apologetic grin as Zelda smiled.

"Yeah… sorry about that… well…. goodbye." She gave me a slight wave as she and Link began to kiss passionately right in the hallway. As I turned to go into my room I couldn't help but and think… if this was a chapter of a story…. it would probably be the most pointless of all.

A/N: I hate this chapter right now…. seriously… maybe I'm overacting but I thought it sucked, and it was late. I hope you can all forgive me; I'll do better next time! (bows) This chapter was short… it moved to fast… and it was utter pointless. However I kind of made it to go around that joke at the end… well hopefully I didn't disappoint you all (sniffle)


	5. The Glass of Punch

A/N: Thank you all so much (bows to the awesomeness of the reviewers). It's really inspiring to complimented like that. Thank you again! Now let's see… (pulls out handy dandy notebook) Uh huh… yeah… okay! We've got a weird chapter here… XD

The Silver Kitty- Thanks so much! It's okay, you'll have less time to review during school and I'll have less time to write O.o

PirateGoddess27: Thank you so much! I normally don't like when people write like that either but what could be more insane than a bad impression of l337 right?

Eternal Smasher: Yes I do lol, thank you! I hardly ever do romance, but I'll have to learn eventually right?

Wanchoo: XD I like that take lol. Nah, I never played FE7 but I'm sure I could follow your story anyway, I'll read it.

Zekoi: I love the Zelink pairing too XD Thanks!

RoyalFanatic: Heh, don't worry, most chapter are humor based, if it was romance based I'd set Marth up with someone XD Here's the update (grins cheerily)

Blazing Fool: Yes! He should kill Merlinus, he is so damn annoying! XD Thank you!

Shiru23454: Yes, it was! (grins) lol thanks!

BabyGurl278: Heh, yes. No romance for Marth in this story!

Marth- T-T

Ri2: I'm not sure… since Marth doesn't know many Pokemon, besides the SSBM ones, he probably couldn't tell which was which. Heh, will Ash be okay? Depends how deep that abyss is… XD. Thank you! The poem wasn't mine as I said in the disclaimer, it's a famous poem, I wish it was my poem lol.

Libster: Heh, they were Deku Nuts, but every time I see them in Link's inventory I always think they look like acorns lol. Heh, I'm not sure who the poem was by… it's a well known writer though… so well known… that I can't remember their name right now…

doubledude: Thank you! (bows)

Disclaimer: I don't own… (takes a deep breath) SSBMFireEmblemorNintendoingeneral… oh I also don't own Mikau or Majora's Mask… which are both Nintendo's property… so forget it.

Life after Exile

Chapter Five- The Glass of Punch

"Hey Marth… guess what?" I sighed in annoyance.

"What Roy?" The red haired pyro simply grinned and answered,

"Take a guess!"

"You're going to leave me alone and let me finish my book in peace?"

"Why would I do that? Anyway, I'll tell you…. we're invited to a party!"

"I don't think I was invited…" I murmured, since I had heard no news of a party. Roy sat beside me and softly muttered,

"Maybe because you're obnoxious and disliked…"

"I'm _what_?"

"Nothing! Anyway you're a Smasher, so you _have_ to be invited…" Slightly fuming with anger I resumed my book as Roy went onto poking me in the head whenever I calmed down. A week had passed in this hell house called the Smasher Mansion, a week of complete horror… but it's nothing new really… "Do you know what the party's for?" Roy finally asked, eager to keep the subject going and cutting off my recollections.

"No… and frankly I don't care." Ignoring that last comment he continued,

"It's a pool party! You know, there'll snacks, alcohol, and swimming." I cringed a little at the mention of swimming… I was never that great of a swimmer. For whatever reason I would always be afraid of the deep water…

"I don't like to swim."

"Killjoy. You can still come and eat cheesedoodles or something..."

"_Cheesedoodles_!"

"Yeah, they're these little orange snack foods, they're quite good really." I heaved a sigh and glared at him.

"Look Roy, I'm not interested in either cheesedoodles _or_ swimming… I _just_ want to finish my book."

"Yeah, but that's your needs… I could care less about those… c'mon Marth. _Please_ come? I don't like being alone…" I snorted and turned away from him.

"Link will be there."

"Yeah but, he'll be hanging out with Zelda… besides I can't exactly have an enthralling conversation with him."

"Like _you_ could have an enthralling conversation, even with someone who _could_ talk!" Roy blinked stupidly, apparently wondering if I had insulted him or not.

"What book is that anyway?"

"It's a play."

"You said it was a book before…"

"Did I?"

"Yes…"

"Well it's not."

"So then what is it?"

"A _play_."

"It looks like a book…"

"It's not a book!"

"Then if it's not a book what is it?"

"You know what Roy?" I asked with an exasperated sigh, "It's a book, alright?"

"Actually… it sort of does look like a play…" He murmured as leaned over my shoulder to see it more clearly. "What's it called?"

"Romeo and Juliet." Roy let out an unimpressed snort and said,

"Only girls read that book."

"No! It's a classic love story about-" I paused and looked at Roy who already seemed bored by my explanation for he was staring at his sword with a glazed expression. "Forget it… why don't you go get ready for that party of yours?"

"Not until you say you'll come."

"Then you'll be late for your party…"

"So? I can stay with _you _the whole time!" I froze and took a moment to think about that possibility…

"Fine… I'll go, but I'm not going in the pool." Roy grinned profoundly,

"Excellent, the party starts in half and hour… be ready." As he left I couldn't but to think… _Did Roy just trick **me** into accepting that invite! _

…

Though I am a prince, I had to admit I never really enjoyed parties all that much. All these people around me, speaking of matters I knew nothing of, and walking around me, ecstatic to pull me onto the dance floor. I had a similar problem here, except it was the dance floor I was being forced into…

"Where's your bathing suit?" Roy asked me quizzically cocking his head after I had arrived to the party in my usual armor and cape.

"I already told you I am not swimming today." The half dragon was wearing red swimming trunks and a scowl.

"I didn't actually _think_ you weren't going to swim!"

"It's not that unbelievable, besides, if I go in this I'll drown." He looked over the shoulder armor with a raised eyebrow.

"How heavy is it? Maybe-"

"I'm not going in with armor Roy, don't suggest it." Huffily I took a seat next to the punch bowl and frowned at my clone. He simply shrugged in response to my movement backed up onto the diving board (which wasn't too far from my chair).

"Suit yourself." he murmured and jumped up into the air. My eyes widened in shock as he came back down onto the diving board, gracefully did a midair flip and landed into the pool with a splash. I snorted after my initial surprise. _It wasn't that impressive…_ I constantly told myself though I currently wished I knew how to do a midair flip. With Roy gone I finally turned my attention to red punch which flickered ominously in the bowl. Gently I picked up one of the glass cups and swished in the bowl give me a glass full of the liquid which I examined interestedly.

"Try it." said a voice next to me. I turned to face Peach who had made the request.

"What is _it_ exactly?"

"An alcoholic punch; and it tastes like ginger!" She giggled as if she had made an amusing joke. I laughed a bit thinking it was proper for the situation though I wasn't sure why she had laughed. "I made it myself, from _real_ fruit!"

"Really?"

"Yes! I guess you can call me the bartender!" She giggled again making me wonder how much of her own punch she had drunk. Carefully I sipped some of the punch which turned out to be surprisingly delicious.

"This is great!" I exclaimed after finishing the rest of the glass and brought it back into the punch bowl for more.

"I know!"

"Really it is!" I had already finished that glass and was reaching for more.

"Exactly!" Dizzily she approached the bowl and grabbed herself a glass.

"Hey Zelda!" I called out after finishing my third beaker. The princess approached me with a raised eyebrow.

"Marth? What-?"

"Try this!" I thrust a cup at her which she awkwardly took a sip of.

"Wow, that's really good!"

"I know!" Peach laughed, her face turning red, as Zelda seized another glass and I filled up my fourth one. "I made it with seventy percent alcohol!"

…

"Okay! Okay!" I laughed, "This guy walked into a bar… and said… and said… heh heh I forgot what he said!" The two girls broke out into laughter as if this was best joke they had ever heard.

"That was good!" Zelda managed between fits of laughter, "I just wish you could remember it!"

"Me too!" Peach exclaimed laughing even more than Zelda had, I grinned with satisfaction.

"Yeah…" Zelda stood up, still grinning, and pulled of her dress to reveal a pink bathing suit. I blinked at her in surprise,

"Are you coming into the pool Marth?" she asked with a drunken giggle. As I thought of an answer I cast a glance at the pool.

"I dunno…" I finally said. "I- thunked… thought… there was somethin' about the pool I was supposed to remember… ah screw it." I got to my feet and stumbled over to the diving board which bobbed dangerously as I placed my weight on it. Before I could even get a chance to jump I felt my foot slip slightly on a puddle of water. "What the hell!" Was all I had a chance to yell before I landed head over heels into the pool…

…

The water was cold when it enveloped me, I could feel the icy waves splash up around me and several muffled cries and laughs were heard from the surface. My eyes were wide open, perhaps from shock, as I could see people watching my form slowly sink below the water, and I held my breath as tightly as I could for I had the illusion if I let it go it would mean instant death. _I gotta think… I need air soon… _Uselessly I failed my arms in a circular motion and kicked my feet to pull myself onto the surface, but my shoulder armor kept pulling my under, closer and closer to the bottom, if I got down to far no one could reach me. The sounds from above turned from amusement to fear…

"Why hasn't he come up yet?" Someone asked, it sounded like Fox. Roy's blurred form plunged it's face into the water and looked at me.

"He's waving his arms around," he commented as he returned to the surface, "That must mean 'Hi'… Hey Link! Where're you going?" There was no reply, and if there was I couldn't hear one for I had floated down further and further until I reached the bottom. My mind screamed for air, and my lungs did the same and before I could let it go a solitary figure floated down towards me and neatly landed on the bottom, standing, as if it was on the surface. Through my blurred vision I could barely see the figure but I could hear it's voice,

"Hiya Marth!" it said cheerfully. "You weren't coming up so I though I'd check up on you… I- hey what's wrong?" It tilted it's head in concern as my lungs burst and I inhaled water. "Hey! You can't breath underwater! Man that sucks… luckily I got this Zora tunic… oh look! Here comes Mikau!" Whoever Mikau was, I didn't find out at the time, because everything went dark…

…

"Damn it, he's not breathing…" came an unfamiliar voice, the strangest one too, for it sounded muffled as if it was underwater… was I still in the pool? "No wait, he's breathing now… why didn't you do something, Young Link, instead of just waving at him?"

"I'm sorry," came the child's sorrowful reply, "I thought he was just having fun…"

"Poor deluded child…" My eyes fluttered open as I heard this statement. Looking over me was a fish looking creature with giant black eyes and tight blue skin, like a whale or a dolphin would have. He had two sharp fins protruding from his arms, and a long, green tail fin hanging from his head which was gently flowing behind him as he watched my movement.

"Who're… you?" I managed to ask between short breaths as I pulled myself into a sitting position and between to cough up water. Once I had finished he answered,

"I'm Mikau, the guitarist of the famous Zoran band, The Indigos!" When he noticed my confused look he added, "Well, maybe we're not _so_ famous…"

"Why are you here?"

"I'm technically not here… you see I'm dead, and my spirit is sealed within a magical mask which Link is in possession of… when he wears it he turns into me and I can take over his mind, though I have very limited control. It's quite confusing really… hell, even I don't understand it!"

"When he saw me drowning he put the mask on?"

"Exactly." I heaved a sigh which caused a throbbing pain in my head, either from my little mishaps... or maybe the drinking. My cheeks were bright red as I thanked the strange fish man and struggled back into the chair from before where Peach was still standing,

"You… you want more punch Marth? I- I had like… eleventy and two glasses…" She hiccupped and thrust the cup at me which I frowned at.

"Will it make me forget everything that just happened?"

"Yesh!"

"Then give it here." I drained the cup as fast as I could. "More." However, before I could even _get _more a hand swiped the cup away from me.

"Marth, drinking is bad!" I glanced up at Roy who was standing before me, sopping wet (as was I) with his arms crossed in a defiant stare. In one hand he held the cup, and in the other he had his sword which flashed menacingly. With a glare I tartly responded,

"So?" and snatched the cup in one fluid motion. Roy scowled in response.

"Well I hope you don't do anything you'll regret when you're sober!" I filled the cup and frowned,

"Don't worry about it… what are the chances I do something like that?"

…

_FLASH! _

"Ugh… damn it." I groaned as my eyes flickered open, my two eyelids felt heavy as if they were each three pound weights. I attempted to get to my feet but I was overcome with a wave of nausea so I stayed simply held myself down on my hands and knees, as a dog would. "Where the hell am I?" I half-shouted, when no response was uttered I viewed my surroundings.

Lying on the floor next to me were Peach and Zelda who each slept soundly, unlike myself, whose heart gave a thump of terror. _Did… did I? _I glanced around my surroundings; I seemed to be in a small space, hidden from the world outside… _yes… I think I did… _and standing at the door to this strange room was Roy who had a Polaroid camera in hand. "Roy!" The pyromaniac grinned happily,

"Hey Marth look at this picture I took of you three!" I forced myself to my feet and lumbered over. The picture slowly came into focus; it was simply the scene I had awakened to. "I have another picture too, but it's more… embarrassing." I glanced up at him, eyes wide.

"Roy. Give it to me!" He shook his head as a mischievous grin took place on his face.

"Do you remember what happened?"

"No!"

"Maybe the others will like to see the picture…"

"Please don't show it to them! Link and Mario would-" I paused and frowned when guilt etched itself into my mind. Link had saved my life several times now and I had repaid him by sleeping with his girlfriend?

"I won't show it to them… for a price."

"Name it."

"When the time comes." He patted me on the head and whispered, "Anyway you'd better get out of this shed and back up to your room before _Link_ notices you're gone." With those parting words, he left. I was shaking slightly as I grabbed my cape which was lying on the ground nearby. _Damn it… now he has blackmail… next time, I just take swimming lessons… _

A/N Yes lol, before you ask the picture _will _come up later. I've already decided on its purpose too… This chapter was rather short, but I'm proud of it! R&R please! Also on other note, Mikau or Link's other forms may show up, I'm not exactly sure if I should do it or not, but I'll see about it.


	6. The School Play

A/N Hello all! (grins cheerily) Welcome to the happy fun house! No wait, I meant my fanfiction… (grins again). This chapter doesn't have Roy in it much… (sniffle) but Marth will be in it, and the kids (Ness, Young Link, Ice Climbers, etc). So… here we go XD Oh and I got the text from Romeo and Juliet here: sorry guys, but it take forever to type up Shakespeare's dialogue O.o

Review Responses:

Eternal Smasher- Yeeeeeees, drinking and blackmail mix nicely, don't you think? Lol, thanks!

Shiru23454- Perhaps… (grins) but I don't want to ruin plot! Thanks!

The Silver Kitty- Yes! Even though it's Marth fault I still pity what Roy may do to him when he decides the blackmail will come in handy. Thank you!

Zekoi- Lol, the more torture Math gets, the more fun for us XD. Thanks!

Blazing Fool- Thank you! I need a dead person to steal from too… (looks around in hopes of finding a dead body)

RoyalFanatic- O.o you forgot? I hope it wasn't something like 'Xiao! There's a bomb in your house, you'd better run!' Lol, thanks!

Wanchoo- Lol, I'm a BIG anti drinker so this is a mention for all the drunk people: 'IF YOU'RE DRUNK A RED-HAIRED PYRO WILL TAKE PICTURES OF YOU SLEEPING WITH YOUR FRIEND'S GF!'

Yes, I think that got the message across quite nicely. (grins) More Marth torture for you!

BabyGurl278- Thank you! Roy's my favorite in this story (sides' Marth obviously, lol) but he's the hardest character to create lines for. It's hard because you want to give the feeling that Marth is annoyed with Roy, but you still want the readers not to hate him lol.

Libster- Lol, those damned drinking Princesses XD Thank you!

PirateGoddess27- Thank you! I hope I can update more frequently but I have school, girl's chorus, general chorus, drama, and literary magazine to contend with so it's hard to write. However I plan to stick with this one until the end lol.

Addicted to Addiction- Yes… yes it is. Lol, jk thank you!

Yureidoru- Thank you! Yes, I love M/R too XD. I've never actually seen Fox/Falco in SSBM, though I bet it's really popular in Star Fox lol.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Marth, Fire Emblem, SSBM and Nintendo… (sighs) nor do I own Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare, though the copyright for that play is up. However I do own the rich woman and her son, they may show up again, I'm not entirely sure, so I guess they be OCs…

Life after Exile

Chapter Six- The School Play

_Knock, knock, knock… _

"Marth!"

_Knock, knock, knock… _

"Marth! _Please_ wake up!"

_Knock, knock, knock…_

Each angry pound on the door slowly wormed its way into my mind causing me to let out a cry of pain. "Shut up… I have a hangover…" The knocking stopped for a moment.

"Well I have _something_ to ask you!" Through my clouded mind I managed to find a face for the voice,

"What is it Young Link?" The Hylian paused for a moment and let out another futile pound on the door.

"I need to get in to ask! It's important!" Slowly I managed to pull myself out of the bed and shuffled toward the door as waves of nausea constantly swooped over me. Once I had turned the knob a little green blur burst through the door and jumped at me, gripping my waist, and then hung there crying.

"What… what's wrong?" I stammered through surprise as I glanced at the entrance where Ness was standing, apparently accompanying the young elf. He leaned up against the wall carefully watching the scene with his baseball bat leaning against his shoulder.

"Young Link, Nana, Popo and Pichu are in the school play and he wants someone to come watch them but no one has the time, or the desire, to go." I frowned and looked at the child's sobbing form, with an idea of where exactly this conversation was going.

"Why don't you ask Link?" The elf let out another sob,

"He–he is t-too b-busy…"

"Roy?"

"He–he going t-to Starbucks…"

"Damn… Zelda? Peach?"

"Th-they said n-no!" I let out a sigh and glanced at Ness.

"Are you in the play?" The physic opened his mouth to respond but Young Link cut him off,

"H-he's n-not! N-Ness ha-has no t-talent!" The subject's entire face went bright red with anger.

"I do _so_ have talent! I'd just rather do stage crew… I mean… that takes a lot of talent right?" He coughed nervously and glanced up at me, "Well I'm sure you already know what he wants to ask you…"

"Yeah… I'll go."

"Excellent… but you'll have to give us a lift there, if that's alright."

"A… lift?"

…

"My… eyes…" I muttered as I walked outside in the blaring heat, with the sun beating down on me… almost like the day I came. I gave a nervous look around, it was truly the first time I had really walked around outside (not considering the pool party that is) since I had come to the mansion. After all I was here to escape a death sentence…

"Suck it up." Ness muttered as he worked his way to the front of the group where I was standing. At first I had figured he had been referring to my comment about my eyes, however that was proved false when he added, "I doubt your 'killers' are still looking for you, just don't do anything stupid." I snorted; _Mind reading is very rude you know, it's like an invasion of privacy… _He only grinned in response, not pushing the situation any further.

"Now how are we going to get there?" I decided to question. Popo (who was walking behind me with Pichu, Nana, and Young Link) thought it fit to answer,

"We're taking a car silly!"

"Alright then…" I had heard a lot about these 'cars' from Captain Falcon who absolutely adored them (he would call his own car his _baby_). "Who's diving?" All the kids immediately stopped to look at me.

"Pichu, pichu?" The little yellow Pokemon asked, cocking his head. Before I could even request a translation Ness quickly interjected,

"He asked: What do you mean?"

"Well… someone has to drive the car." This time it was Nana's turn,

"You can't possibly be serious Marth! We're kids! _You_ have to drive the car!"

"I don't know how to drive!"

"Well, that's just something you'll have to work on then." Once we got to the parking lot I grudgingly trudged toward the 'Smasher Mobile' (a Hummer that simply had the words 'Master Hand PWNS!' written on the side) and got in, watching the kids file into the backseat, except for Ness who was insistent that he ride shotgun since he was the oldest.

"How do I turn this thing on?" I questioned once everyone was seated and buckled. Ness gave me a look as if I were the dumbest person on Earth, stuck the key into the ignition and turned it causing the car to vibrate. "Yes, I knew that… of course." The physic rolled his eyes at me silently and leaned back on his seat.

"Alright then Marth, what do you do next?"

"I…" There was a sigh,

"Press the gas pedal, the one you have your foot on." I nodded and pressed it as hard as I could.

…

"MARTH! YOU CRAZY SON OF A- SLOW DOWN!"

"HOW!" I screamed back to the physic over the shrieks of the kids in the back. Ness was yelling profanities at me as he looked out the window at the street as cars honked and tried to pull out of the way of my machine of terror, but several cars chased after me with blinking lights on the top...

"DAMN IT! COPS! MARTH LISTEN! _SLOWLY_ EASE UP ON THE PEDAL YOU'RE PUSHING ON! IF YOU DO IT TO FAST WE'LL BE THROWN _THROUGH _THE WINDSHIELD! SLOWLY, YOU HEAR!" Gently I eased up on the pedal until we came to a complete stop and the blinking car also stopped behind us.

"What the HELL!" The cop exclaimed, obviously enraged, as he got out of the blinking car, with a pair of handcuffs ready. "Are you drunk, MAN! I NEVER- … Ness?" The officer glanced unsurely at the window as it lowered. "Humph, I should have suspected that, underage driving hmm? No physic crap is going to help you this time, not after that graffiti incident at the school; nine people had to get an eye transplant after that, you know!" Ness frowned slightly at him,

"First of all the graffiti thing was an accident, like the Mc Flurry incident at McDonalds with the crown… second _I_ wasn't driving." He cocked his head at me causing the man to look into the car.

"What do we have here? It's the blue-haired pansy from the SSB show." I scowled noticeably and muttered,

"You watch SSB?"

"Who doesn't? My daughter is a huge fan of your red-haired partner, Roy was it?"

"Yes."

"Anyways, everyone knows all about your background's. I should _exile _you from the town also!" I blinked at the word **exile**. _The word that ruined my life… _ Ness poked me in the shoulder to pull me out of my thoughts,

"Don't get a sentimental now alright? When I say go, continue driving, _slower_ this time." Bringing myself to reality I prepared to press the pedal. "Now officer…" Ness continued, his voice taking on a strange tone. "Marth is innocent, isn't he? He did nothing wrong." The cop looked confused but answered,

"He was… speeding."

"No, _he_ wasn't." Ness persisted, dropping his voice to an almost inaudible whisper. "_He_ was driving normally… you have an overactive imagination."

"Yeah… maybe I was seeing things… but I'm sure that he-"

"He's simply trying to take us to a play… there's nothing wrong with that… right?"

"No; nothing at all."

"Then we can go?"

"Yes… of course."

"Marth, NOW!" I was shocked at how fast his voice increased; I accidentally hit the pedal a little harder than I was supposed to, however I quickly took some pressure off of it bringing the car down to a normal pace.

"That was cool Ness!" Young Link happily exclaimed from the backseat. "You like… brainwashed that guy!"

"Heh, I confused him with my powers, it only works on adults since their minds can take it… a child may lose theirs from the effect."

"How much time do we have before the play?"

"A good half hour… why?"

"Maybe we could stop for ice cream…Marth's treat."

"We'll be late though." Young Link waved a hand at him.

"I'll just slow down time or something, come on please?" Before Ness could even answer I jumped into the conversation.

"I refuse to pay for ice cream, _or_ stop!" Grinning slightly the kids all looked around at other and at Ness who reluctantly began to speak in the same tone as before.

"Why not Marth? It won't take that long… I know you want to stop." My mind began to slip and a wave of panic washed over me.

"No! I don't!"

"Yes Marth… you _do_. While we're stopping… we should get some ice cream… we'll only be hungry later, so you won't have to stop for food on the way home." I blinked trying to keep rational sense… but what he said… seemed so logical, it made did make complete sense. _Maybe I should stop… _ "Of course you should stop… come now, you know it's good judgment."

"It is… let's get some ice cream…"

"Excellent…" Ness paused for a moment and then slowly began again, "And how about that new baseball bat I've been longing for?"

…

"You are an _evil _person!" I snarled at Ness as he licked around his ice cream to keep it from dripping off the cone.

"I would confuse you more but that may cause temporary insanity for the both of us, besides it's not like I made you rob a bank or anything, we just got some ice cream… and a fifty dollar baseball bat. It's no big deal, really."

"No big deal? No big DEAL! I should _strangle_ you!" Popo immediately jumped up in his seat with a gasp,

"Oh! But that would be… would be…"

"Child abuse." His sister finished with a devilish grin, "Isn't one run in with the law enough Marthy?" I deeply frowned at the nickname but said nothing in response for the girl continued, "Besides, you're driving. If you stop to strangle Ness then well never get to the play in time!" When Ness glared at her Nana hastily added, "Oh and uh… the killing Ness part isn't that appealing either…" I grunted in response, absolutely despising the fact I had just been shown up by children.

"So, you all have utterly confused and cost me my paycheck… I think I've earned the right to a question."

"Shoot."

"What is this play you're performing anyway? All this time I hadn't heard a single thing about it." Nana's eyes opened wide as she heard the question,

"Romeo and Juliet of course, I'm playing Juliet!"

"That's funny," Ness muttered sourly, still miffed over the death comment, "because you probably no nothing about love because you've never had a boyfriend." There was an uneasy silence from the backseat until a mallet whizzed through the air striking the physic in the head causing him to fall unconscious. I grinned slightly, for it was amusing (fifty dollar baseball bat my ass!) and turned back to the road where I saw a building on the horizon.

"Is that the school Young Link?" The young elf lifted himself in the seat to look through the windshield.

"Yep! Good old KFC!"

"KFC?"

"Kentucky Fried Chicken! They named our school after the restaurant chain!" For moment I pondered over the question: Why would someone name an educational facility after a place that fries chickens? My mind wandered off that and I was approached with another problem.

"Ness… how do I park the car?" I glanced at the physic and my blood ran cold when I remembered he was unconscious. "Oh fu-"

…

"Marth…" Nana asked cautiously as she opened the car door and sidled out onto the ground. "Are we allowed to park here?" I opened my door and poked my head out looking at the tree we had run over.

"Well… it doesn't say we _can't _park here…" Gently I stepped down from the car and onto the pavement as I surveyed the damage. _Broken fender, cracked tree… but no broken kids… and we are at the edge of the school parking lot… _"Yeah, don't worry about it. We're fine…" Young Link let out a sigh of relief as I reached into the car to grab the unconscious physic and sling him over my shoulder.

…

"Hello sir, would you like a pamphlet for the- Oh my god! What happened to Ness!" The teacher at the door let out a horrified gasp, dropping the pamphlet she was trying to give us on the floor, as she looked over the unconscious Ness who was lying on my shoulder.

"Oh him?" I asked nonchalantly, "Yeah… he got hit with a mallet. It's not that big a deal…"

"But… I… I'm afraid I don't…"

"Here." I carefully put the physic in her arms. "Take him to a doctor or nurse or something. Now I'm going to go take my seat… if I could find the theater." Before she could even persist I left her to follow the kids, standing there, with her mouth gaping open at me.

…

"Humph, who're your kids?" The auditorium was dark, so I had to squint to make out whom the person sitting next to me was. It seemed to be a lady, an elegantly dressed one at that.

"None of them, I'm simply accompanying some children from the SSB mansion."

"Ah, you must be one of those Super Smash ruffians; I would never let my child watch such rubbish. He's an educated young man, I'm insulted those Smasher kids even go to the same school." Feeling a parental surge I quickly retorted,

"They're not bad kids! They're just… really strange."

"My point exactly, the twins are hyper, the human is sadistic, I can't even understand the rat, and the pointed eared child scares me!"

"He just talks, a lot… trust me, he'll be a lot quieter one day."

"How would you know that?"

"Educated guess…"

"Ah… are you of any noble birth, err…"

"My name's Marth and yes, I was the Prince of Altea."

"I knew it, you can always tell by one's voice I say. However you know what I'm talking about right? I mean, would your father let you hang out with such sugar high children?" I frowned for a moment and paused to think on the question…

**Flashback **

"Marth kill the damned deer!" My younger self gripped the bow and arrow, hand shaking, until I suddenly announced,

"I don't _want_ to kill it!"

"KILL THE DAMN DEER!"

"NO! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU! DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO DO BUT YELL AT ME!"

"KILL THE FREAKIN' DEER OR ALTEA WILL BE DOOMED!"

"UGH! YOU'RE HOPELESS!" The deer who had been quietly observing us slowly stalked away at my outburst.

**End Flashback **

"Uhhh… that's hard to say, really. My farther was an _odd_ guy…" I gave a nervous cough and hastily changed the subject. "Anyway, who's your kid playing?"

"Romeo, of course. He's such a talented child, what other role could they give him besides that one? How about those SSB children?"

"Err… I'm not sure; I never got a pamphlet…" The rich woman picked up her pamphlet and began flip through it. "I know Nana is Juliet, and Ness is on the stage crew… check for Popo if you please?" She raised a waxed eyebrow at the name but flipped through the book regardless.

"Gregory… that's a very minor part if I recall…"

"Yes it is… how about Young Link? Actually, come to think of it, just look for the name Link."

"Sampson." I let out a sigh of relief. _Maybe Popo can keep him from getting to talkative…_

"Pichu?"

"Prince Escalus. Heh, that's should prove most entertaining…" Quickly I opened my mouth from a retort but in one moment the entire auditorium went pitch black and a familiar voice said,

"Hey, could we get some light in here people! Put the spotlight on me." There were several calls around the auditorium as a bright beam of light moved it's way onto the stage to reveal Ness who was standing there which a microphone. "Good, good. The narrator has fallen _mysteriously_ ill; and I have forced the director… uhh… I mean… asked the director if I could be both narrator and stage crew!" There was no initial reaction from the audience until Ness grudgingly muttered, "You can clap now…" After some scattered applause he grinned and continued, "So the school would like to thank some people for making this play possible… but I really don't want to mention their names because they're too hard to pronounce… so I'm just going to move on…the setting takes place in Verona Italy, which will be represented by these really crappy backdrops the fifth grade made for us, and the story is about some guy and some girl falling in love… it's actually quite boring really… so you still have some time to leave, get into your cars, and drive for dear life… if you've decided to stay then let's start."

The stage suddenly brightened illuminating none other than Young Link and Popo who were dressed in Renaissance looking clothes (almost like something I would wear) with a sword hanging on their sides.

"Gregory," Young Link began in a paced voice, "on my word, we'll not carry coals." Popo crossed his arms and tartly responded,

"No, for then we should be colliers."

"What does that mean anyway? …I'm not even sure what we're talking about anymore."

"Neither do I, just say your line."

"I mean, an we be in choler, we draw."

"Ay, while you live, draw your neck out o' the collar."

"Wait, what? Screw this…I'm paraphrasing…"

"Err Young Link… I don't think you should-"

"Yo! Montague biznatchs! Get out here!" Popo nervously shuffled on the stage as two bewildered kids walked out,

"Link…" one began nervously, "I don't feel that-" Before the poor child could even finish Young Link quickly drew his real sword and swung as hard as he could causing a lot of screams on stage. Before anymore of the exciting violence could be seen the curtains suddenly shut and Ness stepped out with a broad grin.

"How about that people? An interesting version indeed… err… why do you all look mad? No one's hurt… heh, please don't pull out those torches… oh sh- INTERMISSION!"

…

After the intermission (and several police cars later) I sat in my seat glaring disdainfully at Ness who was standing in front of me with a smug expression. "Someone could have gotten hurt."

"I had nothing to do with what Young Link did."

"I'm talking about when you started throwing fire into the audience."

"Oh yeah, that was fun…"

"I'm sure, now look. I just want to go home, how much longer I do I have to sit through this safety hazard?"

"Well, we've decided to skip ahead to the balcony scene… so that until the end, providing nothing else happens. Now if you'll excuse me I have the rest of my show to put on." By now most of the audience had apprehensively returned, including the rich women who sat beside me once more, this time with an angered approach.

"Don't you know how to control those children!"

"You try getting them under control, it's impossible."

"I suppose, they should be an insane asylum."

"I agree, however, they're the more _normal_ ones…" Before she could argue that point, Ness stepped out once more, this time slightly apprehensive under the infuriated glares of the audience.

"In this scene of this wonderful play, Romeo meets Juliet by the balcony at her house and starts watching her mumble to herself, and instantly know she loves him… then they die... oh wait, that's at the end… well you all know what happened anyway… oh, Nana's shaking her fist at me from offstage… so I think I'll stop before I get a mallet to the face." He quickly darted away as the curtains opened once more revealing a young blond haired boy who held his nose up in the air proudly and had one eye open to look at his mom who sat next to me.

"That's my Preston! Look at him!" I rolled my eyes in utter discontent.

"How much did you bribe the director to let your child into this play?"

"Oh an easy hundred, maybe a bit more to get him the lead roll." I blinked in surprise for I had actually been joking, however, my father did the same thing once so I sat back I decided to not comment. Preston looked around once more and then smirked,

"He jests at scars that never felt a wound." He paused for moment and looked at his watch once, obviously waiting for something to happen. After letting out an angered sigh he repeated, "He jests at scars that never felt a wound!" This time Nana came running out onto the balcony, huffing slightly.

"Forgot my cue, sorry… continue with your monologue please…"

"But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief, that thou her maid art far more fair than she: Be not her maid, since she is envious; her vestal livery is but sick and green and none but fools do wear it; cast it off. It is my lady, O, it is my love! O, that she knew she were! She speaks yet she says nothing; what of that? Her eye discourses; I will answer it. I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks; Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven, having some business, do entreat her eyes To twinkle in their spheres till they return. What if her eyes were there, they in her head? The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars, as daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven would through the airy region stream so bright that birds would sing and think it were not night. See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!" Nana smiled gently and said,

"Ay me!"

"She speaks: O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art as glorious to this night, being o'er my head as is a winged messenger of heaven Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes of mortals that fall back to gaze on him when he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds and sails upon the bosom-" Before the poor child could finish the speech Popo jumped out from backstage, with an enraged glint in his eye as Young Link followed happily licking a lollypop the police had promised to give him if he stopped beating up the other children.

"What the hell did you just say about my sister!"

"Nothing! I was just reading the script!"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT HER!"

"I'm simply saying what Shakespeare originally wrote…"

"YOU WANT TO START A FIGHT!"

"HELL YEAH! BRING IT ON!" Nana wailed in despair as she ran off seeing as the scene was ruined while her brother and Preston scampered offstage, shrieking profanities. Now only Young Link was left, happily licking his lollypop.

"It's lemon." He informed us with the utmost enthusiasm. By now fuming audience had risen from their seats ready to pummel the poor child (or me seeing as I was their legal guardian at the moment) when Pichu suddenly ran out, his stubby arms were stretched out before him in a peace offering.

"Pichu, pichu?" The creature asked the audience benevolently. To my surprise the listeners stopped their mob like ways and took their seats. "Pichu, pi, pi, chu?" Pichu gestured to Young Link who waved at the audience awkwardly. "Pichu pi? PICHU, pichu!" His stance suddenly became more overbearing as it pulled itself to full height and spoke, emotion running through it's voice. "Pichu, pi, pichu pichu! PICHU PI! Pichu, pichu…. PI!" Blinking with shock I glanced around at the audience who had burst into tears with Pichu's heartfelt speech. Even the woman next to me was crying happily,

"That was so beautiful!" With a sigh of dejection I got up to go grab the rest of the Smasher kids with the thought that perhaps the world itself had gone insane…

…

"Well I hope you are all happy." I told the children in a seething tone the car approached the Smasher Mansion. (I had already managed to dodge five cars, one train, and even an airplane. Why doesn't anyone drive right?) "You all just ruined the school play, _and_ Nana's life!" Nana interrupted her weeping with a sniffle of dejection.

"H-How could you d-do t-that Popo?" she stammered and began another fit of despair.

"I was defending your honor!"

"Y-you, em-b-barassed me!"

"You'll get over it."

"Don't worry Nana." I interjected compassionately before Pop shredded what was left of the poor girl's self-confidence. "I just hope no one writes about that in your yearbook."

"Yeah," said Ness with a smug grin, "It was pretty embarrassing…" Nana simply wailed in response as we pulled into the parking lot.

…

Once all the kids had gone to bed I let out a sigh of relief and took a seat in the living room next to Zelda and Peach who were knitting sweaters.

"How was the play?" Zelda asked me as she picked up the remote and turned on the TV.

"Excruciating, I guess Roy went up to bed?" My heart desperately hoped he did, after all, the last thing I needed was to see the house on fire.

"Actually, I haven't seen him all day… have you Peach?" Peach ignored the question and suddenly held up what looked like a mangled shirt.

"It's a kitty sweater! You can have it if you want Marth, I'm making them for everyone!"

"Gee… thanks…"

"No problem, and I haven't seen Roy either… but I'll make a sweater for him anyway. I'm the seamstress here you know."

"I thought you were the greeter-guide person and Doctor Mario's nurse…"

"She's multitalented…" Zelda interrupted with a smile. "Anyway, you're fighting Samus first thing in the morning, so you'd better get some sleep..." Deciding that was a rather good idea, I wished the princesses a good night, desperately hoping tomorrow at least held some sense…

Which, it didn't.

A/N (sighs) That took so long to get up, I'm so sorry, but this was a really long chapter (29 pages in words with the double spacing, 14 without), and it took forever to get it done (and school and all the clubs I'm in didn't make it much easier). So, R&R I guess, and thank you for reading. XD Next chapter I have something special planned with was a situation I wanted to do from the beginning… and Romeo and Juilet wasn't a random choice. However it's so famous that it'd work perfectly for the chapter and I needed something that everyone would know (and Marth was reading it before lol) I don't hate the play, but I loved the idea of doing that to it (heh). Thank you all for the reviews from the last chapters.


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